Sunday I both texted and called Jean-Luc to tell him he didn't have to come to the picnic. He didn't back out.
He picked me up on time. It was a very short drive to the lake. Short but still long enough for me to have nerves.
"It seems like you shouldn't be meeting anyone I know from my regular life," I said, before I realized how rude that might seem. "Like, my Melody's life should be separate from daily life."
"Like sex club friends zero, older friends one?"
That didn't even make sense.
"I told Bevvie that Evan introduced us," I said.
"Which is true," he said.
Then we were there. I bit my nails. I didn't know what I was afraid of.
We got out. Jean-Luc got two six-packs of beer out of the back seat. I looked at him.
"Hey, it's a picnic," was all he said.
The first person we ran into was Bevvie. Her eyes widened. I could tell she thought Jean-Luc was a major hottie. Her expression changed quickly from appreciation to wary and questioning.
"This is my best friend, Bevvie. Bevvie, this is Jean-Luc."
He put down one of the packs of beer to shake her hand. "Bevvie. Is that short for Beverly?"
"That's a beautiful name. And Bevvie's a cool, original nickname for it," Jean-Luc said sincerely. Just like that she was charmed.
Bevvie introduced us to the people we didn't know.
Bevvie walked off to start the grill. As soon as she left, Brittany, a beautiful blonde cheerleader, and also my tormenting nemesis, flounced over. She was wearing a bright red bikini top that pushed her boobs up to her neck, and a bright red bikini bottom with a flounce on it that made her look like she was cheerleading even when she wasn't.
"Hi," she purred to Jean-Luc without looking at me. "Marcy, aren't you going to introduce me to your friend?"
"Brittany this is Jean-Luc. Jean-Luc, this is Brittany."
"Well, I'm so glad Marcy brought someone," Brittany said. "Usually she doesn't hang out with anybody. Maybe you'd like to come build a fire for me?" Then she batted her eyes at him. Literally fluttered her eyelashes.
Jean-Luc stepped behind me, put his hands on my shoulders, and then worked one hand through my hair.
"Well," Jean-Luc drawled. "Any friend of Marcy's is a friend of mine," he said dryly in a way that conveyed he didn't at all consider her a friend. "And I would build a fire for you," he said, and then there was a slight menace in his voice. "But I'm no boy scout."
Brittany turned on her heel and flounced away.
"Impressive," I said.
"Yeah. I have plenty of experience dealing with sharks and other predatory animals. It's the ones in sheep's clothing that are particularly dangerous. Better to cut that thorny plant down before it does any damage."
I twisted around and smiled up at him. "You're handsome and smart. Anything you can't do?"
"I suck at basketball," he said.
Jamie built a fire. Bevvie served hot dogs and hamburgers and potato salad. Jean-Luc had an easy time talking with everybody, getting them to talk about themselves, somehow managing to make them feel like they were the only person in the world, without neglecting me at all.
After a while the fullness from overeating and the late afternoon sun were making me tired. I got up and stretched. Jean-Luc did too.
"You want to take a walk?"
"Sure," I said.
I told Bevvie we were going to walk, and we began to hike through the woods. We went quite a ways, and it was nice to be under the shade of the dense trees and get a break from the warm, end-of-July sunshine. We looped back, and were actually only about 75 feet from the beach by the lake when Jean-Luc spotted a tall platform in the trees.
"It's like an old ranger stand or something," I said.
"Let's go up," we both said at once.
I started climbing up and Jean-Luc got on the ladder after me.
"Great view from here," he said.
I twisted around to look at him. He was staring at my butt.
Just like that, something changed in me. Gone was the shy virgin, who was partially embarrassed that she was working in a sex club. And also gone was the reticence that someone would find out how I met Jean-Luc, that things wouldn't work out between us, that I'd never get over my mini-crush on Evan, that I'd never be daring enough to do all the wild and crazy things everyone probably did in Melody's. I laughed out loud. I was new. I was daring. I was alive. And I was ready to eat the world, whatever experiences it might offer me. I was ravenous. I could gobble it all up.
We reached the top.
"What's so funny, Lafferty?"
"All my shyness is gone," I said. "Like I'm willing to try anything, do anything."
"Oh yeah?" he asked. His eyebrows went up for a minute, and then his gaze got sultry and steamy. Suddenly, the air shimmered, like the illusion of an oasis of black water above a frying-hot road.
"Yeah," I said. I put my arms out high and turned around in a circle. "Like seize the day."
I could tell my giddiness was turning him on, but I didn't know why.
"Okay then," he said. He pulled me over to the edge of the platform, and turned me so I was facing out. He bent down behind me so his head was next to mine; he was checking my line of sight. Then he coaxed me a little to the left.
Through the canopy of leaves, I could see a small section of beach. Some guy was playfully chasing Brittany around the campfire. Jamie was talking to his cousin. Bevvie was standing with her back to us, her arms crossed.
"We can see them," Jean-Luc said. "But they can't see us."
"Unless someone was standing a few paces behind where Bevvie is," I said. "And they knew where the platform was and they were purposely looking directly at it."
"Exactly," Jean-Luc said. He straightened up, opened his legs so he was shorter, and fit the front of his hips to my backside.
"We're all alone," he said. "But not."
Jean-Luc slid his hands up and down the sides of my waist. "When I first saw you, it was like there was a light coming out of you." He made the caressing strokes longer. "A pure shining glow that I wanted to capture, hold in my hand, elevate, increase, and magnify a hundred fold."
Jean-Luc's hands slid over the bottoms of my breasts and back down to the top of my hips and up again.
He leaned his head until it was near my ear. "Devour. Fuck."
My toes tingled and my mouth went dry.
He untied the back string of my bikini top. He slid his hands underneath the free-hanging fabric triangles.
"Ever had sex outdoors?" he asked.
"You know I haven't," I said.
He reached his hands up further, so his thumbs were stroking over my nipples. They popped out obediently for him.
"One of the great things about having sex outdoors, is feeling the nature on your skin," he said. He gently blew on the back of my neck, and suddenly I was aware of breezes everywhere. The wind rustling through the leaves, the air around my feet, the push and pull of the tides.
"The other great thing about having sex outdoors," he rolled my nipples between my fingers, and instinctively I ground my ass back into him. "Is the thrill, the possibility, the probability of getting caught."
Jean-Luc bit the side of my neck.
"Watch them," he said.
I saw Bevvie move to the left to say something to Jamie.
"And worry," Jean-Luc said in a low voice, while sliding one hand all the way down my front, over my bikini bottom. "That they might catch you."
A small, low whimper escaped me.
He untied one of the side strings at my hip and wormed his fingers in the front, pushing the fabric off to the side as he went.
"Do you want me to teach you more about sex, sweet star?"
"Y-yes," I whispered so softly, it was barely audible.
"What was that?" he asked, and skirted his fingers around my folds, teasing me.
"Yes," I said louder, and my voice came out deep and smoky, the voice of a stranger.
He continued to tease, his left hand drawing circles under the top of my bikini and his right hand, teasing the top of my thighs, which were already wet from anticipation. His breath was loud in my ear. I wanted to beg him to plunge his fingers in, to give me more, but I waited.
"Sex is not just physical." Finally his fingers dipped inside, and I had to doubt him. "It's not just emotional." He gathered some honey on his fingers and danced a roundabout so deftly I cried out.
"Sshh," he whispered, his voice full of smoldering seriousness and play. "They'll hear you."
Then he found my clitoris and I bit my lip.
"It's not just physical, not just emotional. It's mental." He brushed a kiss against my temple. "And it's spiritual."
He pinched my nipple harder and a high-pitched peep escaped even though I bit down on my bottom lip harder.
"And it's so, so much more."
He started moving his fingers faster. My legs trembled, and then my whole body was shaking.
Jean-Luc gave me a quick nip on my ear and then kissed down my back. His fingers never stopped.
Then his voice was in my ear again.
"Are you wet for me, baby?"
I nodded. Although he didn't need my affirmation, he clearly knew.
He pulled my hips back in one fast motion.
Then he went back to his torture, teasing and escalating and coaxing every electric feeling out of me. I grabbed the railing harder.
I was flushed and hot. The wood was so hard under my hands. The fabric of shorts made a crinkling sound as ground his erection into me. Two birds whooshed close past my face and I soared with them.
"Anyone could come by," he said, "any minute."
Then he gave a particularly vicious flick and I exploded.
I heard a soft, warm, appreciative chuckle from him. Then a condom rip.
"You ready for the mental game?" he asked.
"I can't hear you."
"Yes," I said.
"You know what's the best thing about fucking from behind?"
I shook my head.
He slid into me. Despite my vow to be silent, I cried out.
Jean-Luc bent over me, easily holding me in place.
"Everything," he said in a husky whisper.
I bit my lip even more, almost afraid I'd draw blood. Jean-Luc pushed in a little more. The angle was different, hitting places so much deeper. I stood up on tippy-toe, arched my back, pushed even further back against him.
He pumped in and out, slow, deliberate movements.
"That's it," he said softly.
Jean-Luc's hands were everywhere. Caressing up and down my back. Sliding around my waist. Kneading and teasing my breasts, pushing me against him by pressing my shoulder, gliding over my hair.
"Oh God," I said.
He plunged and retreated faster. His breathing sounded even harder, louder, raspier in my ear. Desperate.
In the middle of all that green, I could barely see. Everything was so lush, and vibrant, and magnified.
Yet only Jean-Luc mattered. His fingers, his cock, his voice.
The loose-hanging fabric of my bikini top swayed with each thrust of Jean-Luc's hips. He went faster and faster, harder and harder. Just when I thought he would crescendo, he stopped. He pulled most of the way out and hovered.
"How do you feel?" he asked.
"Decadent, incredible. Wicked," I said.
He rubbed his cheek against mine. "Good," he said and slammed into me hard.
He pulled out slowly, "How about cherished, adored..."
Jean-Luc pulled almost all the way out again.
"Yes," I said and nodded.
He slammed into me.
"Well-fucked, prized." He began a slow in and out, building the tension again. My toes started to tingle.
"Naughty," he whispered in my ear.
He grabbed my hips and started pumping faster.
"Incendiary," he said. He reached around and rubbed that nub inside me, finding a special spot on the special spot and rubbing back and forth in time with his strokes.
"Bewitching," he said.
He opened his legs wider and pushed up with each stroke, hitting a whole new place I didn't even know I had.
Then he slowed again. Ran one finger down my spine. I arched even further for him. He slammed in and out and my mouth hinged open, my deep breath sounded so loud, a ragged intake and exhale as harsh as the woods.
"Commanding, powerful," he said. It sounded like he was having difficulty talking.
How could he get any bigger inside me? But he did. I was sure of it. In perfect shade the heat increased, the leaves bending in toward us, drawn by his pull.
Everything became more vivid. The forest was on fire.
He fisted one hand in my hair gently pulled my head back.
"Beautiful," he said, pressing every spot, inside and out, mentally and physically just right. I exploded.
I convulsed around him. He kissed the back of my ear.
Bevvie turned around and walked from the beach to the beginning of the path.
She put her hand up to her forehead, turned her head slightly left and right, searching.
Oh shit. Oh my God. Oh God.
"That's the thing about sex," Jean-Luc whispered very, very quietly in my ear. "There's always the element of the unknown."
Bevvie took a step closer to us.
Jean-Luc grabbed my hips, his big hands pressing firmly into the soft flesh, but still feeling to me as if they were in many other places too. He pumped in and out with a vengeance, all thrusting hip action, and savage plundering.
I grabbed on even harder to the railing, as he pulled me to him with each hard, fast, thrust.
"Marce?" Bevvie called.
"Aren't you going to answer her?" Jean-Luc whispered tauntingly in my ear.
I shook my head.
The fear, the excitement, the sounds, the sensations. I pushed even higher on tip-toe, wound up like a spring in a toy that had been turned too far and was about to break.
The pent-up connection rose higher and higher.
"Marcy, you're marvelous," Jean-Luc said. And then detonated.
I struggled to catch my breath while watching Bevvie turn around and go back to the beach.
"Phew," I whispered.
"Phew is right," Jean-Luc said back. "But that doesn't even begin to cover it."
I took a few seconds re-learning how to stand on my own without help.
Jean-Luc tied the back of my bikini top, and put the bottom back in place and tied the side. I climbed down from our hideaway, and he climbed down right after me.
He took my hand and we walked the path toward the beach. When we were almost there I stopped, pulling back.
"What?" he asked.
"We smell like sex," I whispered, my voice came out loud, like a stage whisper shout.
He smiled at me so big, two dimples big enough to put dimes in showed in his cheeks. He leaned over to put his mouth near my ear.
"You better believe it," he said.
We rejoined everybody.
"I was going to send out a search party," Bevvie said.
"Not necessary," Jean-Luc said. "I'm returning her unharmed."
We all toasted marshmallows as the sun set. Bevvie was considering a career in law, and she had a lot of questions for Jean-Luc, which he answered patiently and generously.
"You don't have a brother, do you?" she asked.
"No," he said. "But I have a cousin. And he'd be really lucky if he got to meet you."
Bevvie looked surprised. I knew she was self-conscious about her weight. I had to give Jean-Luc props that he didn't care.
"My cousin Brett just left for Africa yesterday, but when he gets back, I'll introduce you. If he's got any brains at all he'll recognize a good thing."
Ah, maybe that was whom he had to drive to the airport.
When it got dark I said to Jean-Luc, "I need to get going now."
He nodded. We stood up and said our good-byes.
We got in the car and I started laughing uncontrollably.
"What?" he asked.
"I can't believe we did that!"
He didn't even pretend to not know what I meant.
"It's all part of my plan to corrupt you," he said.
"What's next? Anal sex?"
"What? No!" He started the car and pulled out of the parking lot. "Hell no. You've been a non-virgin for less than a week. I think we can safely say we have a hell of a lot to go through first."
"Do I get to see the proposed playbook?"
"Nope. You just get to experience each..." he paused at a stop light and looked and me. He drew a finger down my thigh. "Amazing, go-for-end-zone play as it comes."
As we approached my house I got nervous. What if my parents had come home early? But the house was dark.
Jean-Luc parked in front of my house and gave me a beautiful, loving kiss.
"I can't invite you in," I said.
He gave a small nod.
"Thanks for an amazing day, sweet star."
I smiled at him, and leaned in to kiss him again. When he broke it off he caressed my cheek. "You've got really nice friends," he said.
"Ha! Wait until you get the full inquisition from Bev."
"I can handle it. I'd walk through fire for you anyway, to be close to your sweet hotness, you know that. A little protective interrogation from a friend is nothing. I'm glad you invited me."
"If I smile any more, my face might break," I said.
He kissed me again.
"Can't have that." He caressed my cheeks. "I've grown really fond of your face."
He kissed me again.
"See you soon?" he asked.
I hopped out of the car before I begged him to take me to his house.
He waved and drove off. I didn't waste any time doing the football boogie boogie dance, but ran inside. I definitely wanted to shower before my parents got home. I didn't want to be smell like burnt marshmallows and sex. Maybe I would get lucky, and they wouldn't get home until after I was asleep; I really didn't want to update them on what had happened to me since they'd been gone.
Monday morning I was back at Melody's, and everything seemed different.
I was a hedon. I was a wanton slut. I had sex outside! Now, I really was the perfect receptionist for a sex club, right? Although, to really be the perfect receptionist, wouldn't I have to, at some point, experience what went on inside?
While I felt totally different, the slow Monday start with just a few people coming in was the same. I got absorbed in my reading. A bright orange and yellow hardcover slid into my field of vision on my desk.
The new Laurell K. Hamilton book.
I looked up.
"Hi, beautiful," he said.
I smiled at him.
"Thought you'd like this," he said tapping the book. "I've never read her, but I asked my favorite bookseller for a recommendation on what you might like, and she recommended this."
"I'm a big Hamilton fan," I said.
"And I've been looking forward to reading this one, I haven't yet."
He smiled bigger.
"Should I get you a book?" I asked.
He shook his head.
A bunch of young, beautiful, twenty-something women came in. Swipe, swipe, swipe.
One redhead looked over her shoulder as she was walking in. "See you in there, Evan," she cooed.
Bile rose in my throat.
"It's unprofessional to want to rip her hair out, right?" I asked. "It's very wrong to be jealous just because she knows your name, right?"
"I like it," Evan said. He gave me his card and I swiped it and handed it back. He leaned over and gave me a kiss on the cheek. "I'll see you on the way out, baby."
A few more people came in. After I swiped everyone in there was a moment's lull. I put down the book I was reading and started on the Laurell K. Hamilton.
He asked his bookseller about me? What did he say?
When he came out his shirt was unbuttoned an extra button lower at the collar.
"Marcy," he said. His voice was slow and velvety. "How about dinner tonight."
The way he said dinner sounded like 'hot monkey gorilla sex'.
"You know I'm sort of, ah, um..."
"I know about J.L.," he said.
"Good. Okay. Good."
He leaned over my desk. "Doesn't mean I don't want you for...dinner."
"Okay, okay," I said. "Dinner. What should I bring?"
"Just your sweet self," he said. "And a toothbrush," he said, but he winked. "Seven?"
"Okay, seven," I said.
He leaned over, gave me a quick peck on the cheek, and left.
I went back to reading. It felt nice to feel so cared for. Maybe I imagined the whole sexy emphasis on the word dinner.
I tried to concentrate on my reading. Not happening.
I arrived at Heather and Evan's at seven. I brought a small jade plant.
Evan answered the door. "Hello sweetness," he said.
The house was amazingly silent.
I stepped in. I handed Evan the plant.
"Thanks," he said.
"Where is everybody?" I asked.
"Heather has a big exam at school. She wasn't exactly sure what time she'd finish. Cuff and Link are at the groomers, and considering it's right next to the college, Heather's going to pick them up on the way home. J.L. said he had a breakthrough in an important case he's working on, and will be working late on briefs and stuff. He'll try and stop by after dinner if he can."
Evan looked at me, an evil smirk curling up the corner of his mouth.
"So it's just you and me for a minute, baby."
I should feel nervous, but I didn't. I took a toothbrush out of my back pocket and held it up.
"This is the first time we're alone together for a long conversation since Zen Sushi," I said.
Evan gave me a very soft kiss on my lips, just the barest of brushes. "Come on mochi, you can help me make dinner."
I went into the kitchen with him. He had all the fixings out for sandwiches.
"This is the type of dinner preparation I can do," I said.
"Me too, sweetness," he said.
We were making a ton of sandwiches. I guess he expected everybody to be hungry. We worked in companionable silence and I marveled at how good, and how comfortable it felt to be with him.
"You know, I never asked you what you do for a living," I said.
"You didn't?" he asked.
"No," I said. "I still don't know."
"I work with autistic kids," he said. "Ones who are really low down on the spectrum. I teach life skills, behavioral modification, basic reading, plan outings, work on quality of like things, set up physical education routines, that kind of stuff."
"Sounds rewarding," I said.
"Don't kid yourself. It can be a big pain in the ass. Yesterday a nine-year-old went ballistic on me. It's rewarding, but it's exhausting. I always wish I could do more. I'm always thinking of ways to try to do the same things, but better. I deal with parents, siblings, schools. I love it, but it's draining in a way nothing else is. So I don't talk about it too much. I just try to make sure I have a rich life in all the other areas of my life so I have more and more to give."
Then he made comical lewd eyebrow movements and leered at me.
"Why is it that I feel so comfortable with you?" I asked.
"I don't know. Chemistry? Kismet?"
"I mean, why do I trust you so much?"
He shrugged. "Sometimes you meet someone and you feel like you've known them for a hundred years. I've only had that feeling twice: with Heather and with you."
He smiled at me, that beautiful, radiant smile. "Yeah."
"I've seen you around and always wanted to talk to you," I said. Then I covered my mouth. Oops. I probably shouldn't have said that.
Evan rubbed his shoulder against mine. "I felt the same way about you, sweetness. Except you were always driving your car when I was walking, and I was always driving when you were walking around."
"Then I saw you at Melody's," I said. "And I was like, oh shit!"
"That's not what I thought," Evan said. "I thought, yum."
"It's weird that I trust you so much."
He put down the sandwich he was making. "Marcy, you should trust your instincts. I meant it when I said I would help you learn anything you want. And I would never hurt you. Never. I won't steer you wrong. I won't push you."
"I have a lot of questions about you, about what goes on at Melody's," I said. "It's not like there's a lot of people I can ask."
He licked one of his fingers, unselfconsciously, and my gaze followed the motion. He saw me watching and smiled.
"You can ask me, babe. You can always ask."
"Yeah, but before I ask anything, I have to say, I don't get the anal sex thing. I mean, I don't even get it with gay guys, but I really don't get it with straight guys. Why would you want to do that?"
Evan looked up, thinking.
"It's like..." he paused. "First of all, it's like total domination. It's like a final frontier. If someone will let you do that to them, they are letting you posses them totally and then some. Like..." he slammed his palms together. "Wham!"
I shook my head. I didn't get it.
"It's like football," he said.
Good, a football analogy. Something I would be able to understand.
"You're chasing after somebody. You can bring them down by just tripping them up. But it's not as good as tackling them, pouncing on them, crushing them. That's something else, when you get them to surrender completely."
I stopped making sandwiches to look at him.
"But even that isn't enough. You want to consume. Annihilate. Conquer. Imagine smashing them into dust and drinking their blood."
"Like rugby players," I said.
"Yeah, or ice hockey players. That's what anal sex is like. It's like owning a person body and soul so much that you're eating them."
"Holy shit," I said.
He shrugged. "Yeah, and it's even more than that. Ass muscles can squeeze tighter, so it's more intense. And, you know, I just crave it. Like when you're starving you might crave meat, or vegetables. When you're starving, and then, you're satisfied. It just feels right to me."
"Wow," I said.
"Yeah," he said.
"Weird," I said. Then I covered my mouth. "Was it okay that I said that?"
"Yeah, it's fine. We're friends, you can say anything. And when I say it out loud, it does sound kind of weird. But doing it is the most natural thing in the world."
"Do lots of straight couples, ah, do it?"
"More than you'd think," he said.
Yuck. I hope my parents didn't do that. I shivered. Gross.
"What?" he asked.
I thought about what he said. Without realizing it I was drumming my fingers against the counter.
"What?" Evan asked.
A nervous giggle escaped me.
"It's just, you're this, you know, cute, sensitive, average guy. This beyond trustworthy, totally comfortable guy. And yet part of you is..."
He smiled at me, a really raunchy, rowdy smile.
I cleared my throat. "I think we have enough sandwiches here to feed any army, Evan," I said, obviously changing the topic.
He leaned down toward me. "I can think of a lot of really perverted ways to complete that sentence," Evan said.
"A ton of sandwiches," I said.
He straightened up. "Yeah well, if J.L. doesn't come I'll have some extra for tomorrow."
"I'm still thinking about what you said," I said.
"That if J.L. doesn't come, we'll have some extra for tomorrow," he repeated.
"Come on," he said. "I don't know how much longer Heather will be, so let's go ahead and eat."
Just then Heather walked in with the two dogs. One dog was wearing a blue ribbon around its neck, the other a pink ribbon. The dogs ran to us.
"Sit!" Evan said. They sat. He vigorously rubbed behind their ears and the sound of their tails thumping against the floor sounded like a metal head going nuts on the bass drums.
"Hey, baby," Evan said to Heather. "How'd the test go?"
She came over and gave him a big hug.
"I don't know. Okay I guess. Super long. Hey Marcy, what's up?"
"I've been telling her about the joys of anal sex," Evan said.
"More like the compulsion of anal sex, it sounded like," I said.
"Hey," Evan said. "I went without for three years. When Heather started school, grad school I mean, I took a break from Melody's."
Heather went into the kitchen. "Sandwiches? You made sandwiches for dinner?"
"You said dinner, you didn't say what."
"Dinner," I said, and I made it sound like hot football tackle crazy eat-your-dead rugby anal sex.
Evan laughed. He leaned over and gave me a kiss on the cheek. "Want to try it?" he whispered.
"I'm determined to try everything," I said. "If I'm going to work at Melody's, I think I should have first hand experience of all the wacky things people do."
"Yeah, I like it," Evan said. "Maybe not all at once though, okay?"
Heather had picked a sandwich and she kissed me on the head before she sat down. "Is Jean-Luc coming?"
"Maybe," Evan said. "He's still at work."
"So what else did you two talk about?" Heather asked.
"That's pretty much it," I said. "That and his work."
We ate our sandwiches for a minute.
I turned to Evan. "Ah...I have a question."
"Are there any lesbians in the club?"
"Why do you ask?"
"It just occurred to me."
"Yeah," he said. "I think a lot of the women are more bi, but there are a few straight-up lesbians, sure."
I didn't want to ask who, it was none of my business. I was sure there were gay guys.
"Do you ever watch gay guys?"
He got serious.
"No. But I've seen a lot of threesomes where the guys do some making out. Doesn't bother me."
I blinked. I hadn't really thought about threesomes. Except maybe with the twins.
"Ever been in a threesome?" I asked.
"What do you think I do with J.L.?"
"Holy SHIT!" I got up so fast I knocked my sandwich off the table. One of the dogs got it.
Jean-Luc walked in.
"Speak of the devil," Evan said. "Hi babe."
Jean-Luc gave him the finger.
Jean-Luc came over to me and gave me a great kiss. He slapped Evan on the back, hard. "Hey shining star," he said to me. "Hey, Heath." He gave Heather a kiss on the cheek.
"You hungry?" she asked him.
"Starving," Jean-Luc said looking right at me. Then he looked down at the table. "Sandwiches?" He looked up at Evan. "I'm guessing this is your doing."
"High cuisine for the best," Evan said.
Jean-Luc went into the kitchen and came out with three sandwiches on his plate.
"How was work?" Heather asked.
"I swear I'm going to get that fucker of an insurance company to pay for that little girl's operation if it's the last thing I do," Jean-Luc said. "I'm making headway. How was your test?"
Heather shrugged. "I'm just glad it's over."
"How about you, sweet star?" Jean-Luc asked. "How was work?"
"You know, same old, same old," I said. "Anal sex, threesomes, wild orgies, hooka pipes."
They all cracked up. Jean-Luc peered around me to look at Evan. "They have hooka pipes there? I've been missing out. We've got to try some of that next time."
"I wouldn't know if they have pipes in there," I said. "I've never been inside. So I have to bring my own."
"Nice," Jean-Luc said.
"Evan said you have threesomes with him," I said.
"Ahhhhh...ahhhh," Jean-Luc said. "Sorta. More like we have twosomes on onesomes."
What? How would that even work?
"I want to try," I said.
They all looked at me.
"You're not ready," Evan and Jean-Luc said at once.
"How do I get ready?" I asked.
"More sex," Jean-Luc said. "More vanilla sex," Evan said at the same time.
I looked at Evan. "What's vanilla sex?"
"Jesus Christ," Jean-Luc mumbled under his breath.
"What?" I asked.
Evan leaned into me. "It's normal average sex," he said.
"Without the freaky," Jean-Luc added.
"Did we have that?" I asked Jean-Luc.
They all cracked up.
"Cause it didn't seem average to me."
"Aw, baby, you say the sweetest things," Jean-Luc said.
"How much more vanilla sex do I need to have?" I asked Evan.
"Jesus Christ," Jean-Luc mumbled again and stuffed his face with sandwich.
Evan leaned over me and looked at Jean-Luc. "Yo, J.L. how much stuff have you left undone?"
He looked back to me. "There's your answer."
I looked at Jean-Luc. "Can we do that all tonight?"
Jean-Luc made a comical face, like he was really put out. He swallowed audibly. "Well, I guess, if you insist."
"I need to make a list, so I can check things off," I said. "Don't say Jesus Christ again."
"Okay," Evan said.
"Vanilla sex," I said holding up a finger.
"Oral sex," Jean-Luc said.
"We did that," I said.
He stared at me. They all stared at me.
They continued to stare.
"Oh," I said.
"All six of the basic positions," Jean-Luc said.
"Girl on girl sex," Evan said.
I looked from Jean-Luc, to Evan, to Heather. She shrugged. "I'm not sure she needs that."
"She needs that," both men said at once.
They cracked up.
"A threesome two girls and a guy," Evan said.
"Voyeurism," Jean-Luc said.
"And then you'll be ready," Evan said.
"Holy shit," I said.
"You can always back out," Heather said.
"No, no," I said. "I want to try everything, that's just, it seems a little overwhelming."
"Bestiality," Evan said.
I looked at him.
"Just kidding," he said.
I narrowed my eyes.
He cracked up.
"Asshole," Jean-Luc said to him.
I stared down at my sandwich.
"That's a lot, sweetie," Evan said. "It's too much to do in a week, or even two weeks, or maybe a summer. And it's too much to push it because you want to learn because you're working in a sex club. You should let some of this stuff happen naturally." He paused. "Okay?"
"I guess," I said. "What do normal people do?" I asked.
"There's no real normal when it comes to sex," Evan said.
"People sleep with people they don't know," Heather said. "People get raped. People go for years without sex. Some people get married when they are still virgins and only do it with one person, in military position, for fifteen years and then get divorced."
I looked at her. Yikes.
"Some people never, ever talk about it."
"So you have a unique opportunity here," Heather said.
"But we don't want you to rush," Evan said.
"But I want to rush," I said.
"It's better if you don't," Jean-Luc said.
I sighed loudly. They laughed.
"Can I have lots and lots more sex?"
They laughed again. "We really have created a monster," Evan said, and smiled.
"And maybe you should have sex with more than one person," Evan said.
We all shut up, and my head snapped around to him.
"Or not," he said.
"I'm not ready to share yet," Jean-Luc said. "Way not ready."
Evan shrugged. "I'm here when you need me."
I stared at Heather. What did she think? She didn't seem to mind. "That doesn't bother you?" I asked.
"Nope. I know who he is, and how he'll be, and how he won't. I don't have to worry."
"Amazing," I said.
"I'm not the jealous type," she said.
"Weird," I said. I put my hand out. "No offense."
"None taken. I like you. I'm cool."
"Heath," Jean-Luc said. "You got anything for dessert?"
"Yeah!" I said.
They all looked at me. So much for sounding like an adult. I bit my lip.
Jean-Luc leaned over so his lips were near my ear. "So now I know the way to your heart."
"That's not the only way," I whispered.
We hung out for a while more, migrating to the porch after dinner. I ended up on Evan's lap for a few minutes, then Jean-Luc's lap.
"Come over to my place?" he asked.
I shook my head. "I think I should get home," I said. I didn't add that I didn't think my parents were ready for me to have a late night out so soon after they just got back. Actually, they probably weren't set for me to have a late night out ever. I'd have to prepare them.
Jean-Luc drove me home and gave me a nice long kiss in the car.
"Is all the sex talk making you uncomfortable?" he asked.
"No," I said. "It's just weird. I'm used to thinking of myself as really shy, and it's like I let this questioning person out of the box and all of a sudden I'm not timid at all."
"I like it, baby," he said. "I like you any way I can get you."
He gave me one more searing kiss. I got out, and he drove off.
I had a lot to think about.
Jean-Luc called me every night at about nine. He was obviously working very hard on his case. Neither he nor Evan came in to Melody's all week. Made it kind of boring actually.
At four on Friday my phone rang. It was Heather. "Want to go to dinner and a movie with a bunch of us tonight?" she asked.
"Sure," I said.
"Okay, let me figure out the time, and I'll text you. You can meet us at my house."
I wanted to do a happy dance, but someone came in and I had to check in their bag and swipe them.
I had to go to Heather and Evan's straight from work to get there early enough. They introduced me to their friends: Julie, Zeeter, Matt, and Aaron. Apparently all four of them were in a band and were only in town for two nights. Matt and Aaron had a sort of shimmering sexual tension between them, and I wondered if they were a couple. Probably not. That's the problem with working in a sex club, taking sex lessons, and having a sex-centered summer. You begin to see sex everywhere.
Dinner was nice. Matt kept us cracking up with stupid musician jokes the whole time.
The movie they decided on was Sin City: A Dame To Kill For. I blinked when I heard this. Really? I'm having a summer of 'learn about sex' and they pick a movie with 'sin' in the title? Apparently it was a sequel to a movie made like, when I was a toddler or something. I never saw the first movie. This movie was okay, but like everything in my life lately, a little surreal.
The best thing about the movie by far, was how Jean-Luc put his arm around the back of my seat, and how our hands touched every time we reached into the popcorn bucket at the same time. Having Evan close to me on the other side didn't hurt either.
As the credits rolled up I tried to think of all the things they said to me on Monday. It was a lot; I wasn't sure I could remember it all. But it seemed to me the first item on the list was to have more regular sex, a lot more regular sex.
I looked at Jean-Luc.
He saw me looking at him, and my facial expression must have been 'hhhhmmm I want some' because he smiled a sexy smile and raised an eyebrow. I suppressed a giggle.
Matt said he wanted to go out and hear someone else play music for once. Heather suggested a well-known bar downtown.
"Ah, I can't go," I said.
They all looked at me.
"You have to be twenty-one to get into that place," I said.
"We won't go," Evan said.
I shook my head.
"Why don't you guys go," Jean-Luc said. "I think Marcy still has some work to do for her adult education classes."
"You're going to summer school?" Aaron asked me.
Boy am I ever.
We split up in the parking lot. Jean-Luc and I got into his fancy car.
"You never heard that?" he asked.
"No," I said.
He leaned over and kissed me. "It's a euphemism for everything from learning how to pick up girls, to triple banned porn."
"Oh. And sex lessons," I said.
He smiled wide. "You better believe it."
Jean-Luc didn't break the sound barrier getting to his house, but he drove pretty fast.
When we got to his apartment, I was surprised again in how it was decorated in little clowns and glass and silver candlesticks and about a hundred figurines of tiny dancers and shepherd boys.
"I'm still surprised by all the knick knacks," I said.
"You know knick knacks can be a euphemism for female parts," he said. He raised an eyebrow.
"Oh really," I said. "Which ones?"
He walked over to me and put his arms around my waist, and his mouth to my ear. "Let me show you," he said.
Sexual tension sprang up between us. Was the tension almost as good as the sex?
Jean-Luc kissed me. Immediately I was lost in the goodness. I whimpered into his mouth. He kissed my neck, picked me up, and carried me to the bed without stopping his trail of kisses.
"Baby," he said softly.
"More learning?" I asked playfully.
He shook his head.
"No?" I pushed away from him a little bit. "No? I feel like all of you are always telling me no."
"No..." Jean-Luc said.
He kissed me again.
"No lessons tonight, baby," he said. "Just us."
"The lessons are really important," I said.
"Yeah," he said. He kissed my forehead, my temple, and then my cheek. "Sex for sex's sake is important. Sex for learning is important. But tonight, how about sex because it pulls us together, because it's an important part of a relationship. I get part of us is me teaching you, but I don't want that to be the only part."
He kissed my lips, then my collarbone.
"Sex is great, sweet star. Intimacy is priceless."
Jean-Luc kneaded and kissed my breast through my shirt. Suddenly I understood.
"Hey," I said.
He stopped suckling me to look up.
"It's not just sex you want to teach me, is it? It's knowing. It's knowing you. It's knowing myself. It's knowing who I could be, at my best. It's knowing who we are together."
Jean-Luc smiled wide and caressed my cheek. "Now you get it. It's knowing that we're better," he caressed my cheek, "when we touch deep."
He rubbed his fingers over the wet patch on my shirt, zeroing in on my nipple. I arched my chest into him.
"I want to know that when I touch you, you feel it in more places than just where I'm touching you."
He stopped touching my nipple to put a finger over my heart.
"Because you do that for me, baby. Every time."
"None of this is what I expected," I said.
"Love never is," Jean-Luc said. He rolled me under him. The weight of his body on mine was delicious. He kissed me, and it was the slow, sensuous dance that went from appetizing to driving me wild.
He ground his hips against mine, gently. I could feel the start of his erection, still a new and wondrous sensation to me.
"Sweet star, I was thinking," he said when he broke off the kiss.
"What?" I asked.
"Your list. You don't have to do all those things. You don't have to do any of those things. You just have to wait until enough time has passed between each thing you do, before you feel comfortable enough in your skin to try something new."
"I'm comfortable enough now," I said.
He didn't say no, but I could see that doubt in his face. Instead he said, "Well, maybe I can help you get there."
Jean-Luc kissed me again. I had a moment where I felt grateful and lucky, and then I was lost in the kiss.
He rubbed his hips against me, and slid his hand between us to find my breast again.
"I really like this," I whisper.
Jean-Luc chuckled and kept going. He rolled off me slightly, so just part of his body is over mine. He caressed his hand over my breasts in a figure eight pattern. Ooooh. I really like that. He caressed down my belly, up my sides, over my breasts again.
I reached for him and mimicked his motions, but on his chest. I had the distinct feeling that they aren't doing quite as much for him as they are for me.
Jean-Luc very slowly took off my shirt. The way he looked at me while he does it taught me something else. It's like how Evan looked at Heather. With a deep caring that resonates.
It made me feel more naked than being naked. But I trusted him.
I reached up to kiss him. He turned the light out, and suddenly everything was different: all touch, no sight.
He reached under my skirt and rubbed me through my underwear.
"Do you want me?" he asked.
"All the time," I whispered. "Like, literally, every single minute. It's gotten really bad. I fantasize about you while I'm at work. It's a good thing I work in a sex club, I'd feel really guilty if I worked a normal job."
He laughed. "I fantasize about you too, sweet star, and I've got no excuse."
Jean-Luc kissed down my body, and then pushed up my skirt. He rested his face on my thigh.
"And I'm about to make some of those things I've been fantasizing about come true."
I tensed up. What if he doesn't like me down there?
Jean-Luc came up a little, kissed my hip, the side of my waist. He dragged his face over my ribs, and I could feel the beginning of stubble on my skin. He was going so slow, rubbing his lower lip, over every inch he teased. I imagined what it would look like, the deep dusky pink of his full lip against the creamy whiteness of the places on my skin that hadn't had a chance to tan.
He pulled my underwear off, very slowly.
"Yeah," I said. Oh God, I sounded breathless.
"I'm still lucky you're letting me do this," he said.
"Me too," I said, and he chuckled.
Then he was THERE. Opening me, and kissing me, and swiping up with the flat of his tongue, and sucking that whole button into his mouth—oh fuck.
A buzzing lit off in my head. Like a million fireflies kamikazing into a bug zapper at once. I started thrashing, and Jean-Luc threw his forearm across me to hold me down. I vaguely felt his other hand biting into my hip, moving my hips in circles, grinding me into his face, as I—oh shit—just dripped more and more while my body started to jerk.
I clamped my legs together around his head. It was too much. I was on overload. I couldn't take it. I shook my head in a no, no, no, against the pillow, my hair tangling up over my face, but he couldn't see.
He rasped his teeth over me and I came hard. A shattering fireball into the summer night.
And still he didn't stop.
My whole body shook, as if I was having an epileptic fit. I drew in a deep breath to tell him that was enough, except then I came again, softer this time, but just as powerful, and it stole my voice away.
I tried to coordinate my limbs enough to push him away, but they weren't working.
"Stop," I said.
And started laughing.
"You're not supposed to be laughing," I said.
He scooted up the bed to kiss me, but I automatically turned my face away. Yick.
"It's okay," he said softly. "You're beautiful."
"Yeah, but not to me," I said.
"Maybe one day you will be," he said.
I snuck in late after my parents were asleep, and stayed in my bedroom very late Saturday morning, secretly hoping that they would be up and out of the house before I got up for breakfast.
No such luck.
I was tip-toeing into the kitchen when I heard my mom open the door.
"Hi Mrs. Marsden."
They both came into the kitchen. I tried to look casual as I reached for a box of Wheaties.
"Honey, I have to run to the store. Oh, and that packet came for you." My mother pointed to the table. Big manila envelope.
She grabbed her keys off the hook and left.
I breathed a sigh of relief.
"Haven't told her about banging Mr. Beautiful yet?"
"You might want to tell them, because your 'getting busy glow' is going to show." Bevvie started singing, a mash-up mix of tunes. " 'Your love is like a love song, ba-bay. Voulez-vous coucher avec moi? Voulez-vous with the cute-poo. Hot down, summer in the city. Summer lovin' happened so fast.' "
"Shut up, Bevvie. Pretty soon you'll be singing the kids' taunt K-I-S-S-I-N-G."
"That's next on my list. Oh wait, let me think. 'I got a brand new pair of roller skates, you got a brand new key.' "
"You're gross, Bevvie. I didn't even know that song was about sex."
"What about this one, 'Pull up to the bumper, ba-by.' "
"What?" she asked.
I'd never heard the song, but all of a sudden I had a feeling it had a meaning she didn't realize. Like maybe it was one of Evan's favorites.
"Nothing," I said.
"So I'm guessing you haven't told your units about Jean-Luc."
"Yeah, hell no. You're lucky I even told you."
"You didn't tell me, I guessed."
"Nosy snot," I mumbled under my breath.
"What was that?"
"You do that a lot," I said.
"So what's in the package?"
Bevvie pointed to the envelope on the table. I looked at it. The return address was from Emory University.
I ripped it open. It was a huge amount of info, but there was one thing I was scanning for.
"I got into that new program," I said. "The freshman honors psychology path promise."
"Yeah, but it says here those students have to arrive three days before regular freshman orientation. That means they want me down there on August 18th."
"That's like, two and half weeks from now."
"I can't leave now, I'm just getting started."
Bevvie looked at me.
"I can't do the program. I can't."
Bevvie rolled her lips into a thin line. She crossed her arms over her ample chest.
"I'm not sure I can even go away. I'll apply to community college here. After a year I can—"
"You are so not going to throw your life away over a guy. Even if he is like, off the hot-o-meter."
I sighed. She was right. But shit.
"Bevvie? What am I going to do?"
She raised one big shoulder in a jerky shrug. "You'll long distance it, I guess."
"Jean-Luc isn't going to want to do that," I said.
"You don't know that," she said.
"You don't get it," I said. "He's not like..." I let my sentence trail into nothing. I was going to say he's not like normal guys you meet in normal places.
"He's not like what?"
"I don't know. Everyone knows long distance relationships don't work anyway."
"Marcy," Bevvie said. She opened her arms, and I hugged her.
"What the hell am I doing?" I said into her chest. "I don't, I mean I just, the whole thing is, what do I even feel? It's wild."
She pushed me away from her, looking suddenly adult for a minute. "It's your summer after high school. You don't have to know everything."
"Yeah, but I don't know anything."
"Oh, boo hoo," Bevvie said.
"I'm thinking you know more than me," she said. "At least now you do." And then she wiggled her eyebrows at me comically.
"I don't know why I like you," I said.
"I share my ice cream."
Saturday afternoon I had to go into work. This was going to be my first evening working. I had a tiny bit of nerves. Would everything be the same?
I arrived at work at 1 p.m. Dead.
I caressed the grey cover of The Magician's Land. What would Jean-Luc say? Come to mama.
At 3 p.m. I took out my phone and checked the weather. 101 degrees. With heat index, 106. Bejeebers. I looked out the windows at the blinding sunshine. Maybe that explains why it was so dead. No one wanted to come out in the heat. I looked back at my phone. General average temperature for my zip code for August 2nd. 77 degrees. Oh, great. As long as we're close.
At 5 p.m. I got up and started pacing. Too much sitting on my ass couldn't be good for me.
Howard, the seventy-year-old, came in.
"Working off some frustration there, Marcy?" he asked. He handed me his card.
"I'm just trying to stay in shape for the day you come to your senses," I said.
In he went.
But whom was he going to play with? There was no one in there.
None of my business.
Five minutes later, Brenda came on.
Okay, that's who.
Not that I'm curious or anything.
None of my business.
Then a group of middle-aged women came in. I waited. Nobody else. I wondered. Was Howard going to—? Naaaaaahhhh.
At 8 p.m. it started to get busy. Like busier than I had ever seen it busy. For the first time all summer I felt like I was earning my pay, as people poured in. Many of them I had met before. Some of the ones I hadn't stopped and introduced themselves, and I went through the whole 'yes I'm new' routine.
And people kept coming.
On the whole they were dressed fancier. There was more of an urgency to get in, like I was swiping people into a nightclub, instead of a country club. I didn't know how much of that was because it was later, and how much of that was because people were a little cracked after the crazy, record-breaking heat.
At 9 p.m. Mr J. relieved me.
I gathered my purse, book, and water bottle, and said good-bye. He waved in my general direction, distracted and not looking, as he swiped in a gaggle of girls who barely looked college age.
I said good-bye again. Except then he was distracted by a phone call and when his back was turned I walked through the double doors with the other girls.
I hadn't even really meant to do it. I just sort of...went with the flow. Which in this case was following the person in front of me.
Into a sex club.
The front room was hopping. There was a pulsing burgundy-red light strobing from the ceiling. The music was loud, the lyrics, 'marry her anyway', blasted over me, coming out slightly distorted from the multiple speakers around the room. The bass thumped up through my feet. People were dancing and swaying. The lights turned slightly bluish, suddenly accenting everyone's outfits.
It wasn't quite wall-to-wall people, but it felt like it to me. The crush of bodies moving. The sounds of people talking and laughing. A bubble of space around me closed, and suddenly I was staring at a mountain of backs and shoulders. God, I hated being short.
I pushed through, heading toward the bar, when I recognized what the song was: Rude, by Magic.
I got near the back bar and I saw a stairway and ducked down and headed down the stairs, more to get away from the throng than anything.
The music faded away completely and I found myself in a wide hallway. If upstairs was nightclub this was more...expensive fancy restaurant lounge. There were couches on each side of the hallway and people were sitting on them, sipping their drinks, and apparently listening intently to each other if their body language was anything to go by.
Someone bumped into me.
I turned around.
"Oh, hey Marcy," she said.
She took my arm and moved us out of the way so we weren't standing in the middle of the hallway right at the bottom of the stairs, blocking the way if someone else wanted to come down.
I looked at Linda. She reminded me a little of my mom, if my mom were also someone super cool who I could talk to.
"I've never been down here," I said. I just wanted to know what went on. Really want to know. Even if it was just a little bit. Could I talk to her? "I'm feeling a little overwhelmed," I said. "I work here and I don't even know much about well..."
She smiled at me.
I let my facial expression look like I was questioning, because I didn't quite know what to say.
"You know what I like about this place?" she asked.
"I feel...liked, and...cared for. I'm safe here. I can be myself here. And I can feel sexy again. Even though I'm not twenty-five anymore."
"You know fifty percent of our membership fee goes to charity right?"
"Yeah. It goes to rape crisis help and sexual disease prevention education."
"Yeah. The point is, the place is someplace special and..." she trailed off.
"If there's somewhere not to feel overwhelmed, it's here. Everybody is about having a real connection. Where else do you get that?"
"You want to come in with me and watch?"
I blinked. Was she offering what I think she was?
"Ah, yes, can I?"
"Yeah, if it's okay with them."
We walked past a few closed doors and a few open ones until we got to a room further down the hallway. I don't know how she knew which door to go into but she walked right in.
I was glad to see there were only two people in the room and that they were dressed. The woman was Brenda-Lynn, a woman about fifty-five. The man's name I couldn't remember. He was a little overweight with a balding head.
The room was done in subtle middle-eastern sultan.
"Is it okay if Marcy watches?"
"Just for a little while," I said. "It's for work."
"Sure," they both said.
Oh God. Ohgod Ohgod Ohgod Ohgod.
Did I say, Oh God?
Linda sat down on the long pillowed bench next to...what was his name? Barry? And put her hand on his chest. She curled up next to him.
I watched as Linda casually toed off her shoes and tucked her legs up under her. She put her face near Barry's, and asked him, in a very low voice, how his day was. Brenda-Lynn mimicked her position, and Barry somehow paid equal attention to both of them.
Brenda-Lynn started feeding Barry slices of apples, and small pieces of cheese, and grapes, from a fancy plate on an ottoman in front of them. She leaned over him to feed a piece to Linda, and they all laughed at something Barry said.
What I saw shocked me more than the idea of me working in a sex club. It was an open intimacy I just didn't think existed anymore between old people.
They loved each other.
I mean, I guess I knew this existed, but seeing it, really seeing it was so...mind blowing.
Fuck, really hot.
They were murmuring, their voices getting lower. I was across the room, so I couldn't really hear what they were saying, but I had a feeling that they talk had turned from work to things a little more...sensual.
Maybe part of the reason I couldn't hear them well was that I was concentrating more on their body language. The way Linda's hand's rested so comfortably on Barry's chest. How he had his arms around both of them. Brenda-Lynn's gaze. Linda's lips, so close to Barry's cheek.
I spaced out for a second thinking about it. Linda could be herself. I guess everyone could be himself or herself.
Brenda-Lynn was on her knees, kissing the top of Barry's head. Barry had his shirt wide open. He had more of a belly than I thought, and his chest and belly were covered with dark hair. Linda was petting his chest and kissing his neck. He looked like he was in heaven and then some.
Part of me felt like I should be disgusted, but there was something really beautiful about it. It reminded me of Heather and Evan.
They weren't just intimate and sex buddies and lovers.
They were friends.
Linda put her hand over Barry's crotch and rubbed, and he moaned. After a minute she opened his fly and took his cock out.
I should leave. Barry tilted his head back, and a small moan escaped him. My mouth opened too.
Very quietly I left.
I was breathing heavily. I plastered myself against the wall. I was glad I left when I did. I put my hand on my chest. My heart was beating rapidly. I guess the voyeur thing? For me, not so much. But, fuck, they were hot.
I don't know what I expected happened in here, but it wasn't that. I guess in the back of my mind, I thought it was wild orgies of swingers having total crazy debauchery, hang-off-the-walls, swapping, kinky, unspeakable, dirty, wild sex.
That's definitely not what that was.
This was hotter.
Oh shit. Mrs. J.
"What are you doing down here?"
"Ah...I was curious what goes on down here."
"Well, that varies according to the day. I guess you have a better idea now."
"Yeah," I said. "It was kind of helpful actually."
We stared at each other for a second. I gathered my courage.
"Can I ask you something? When we were in your kitchen, why did you say it wasn't a sex club?"
"Because it's a love club," Mrs. J. said.
"Ow, you're on my hair."
Jean-Luc moved a little bit, and I pulled my hair out from his part of the pillow and it immediately stuck to my bare chest.
"Sex is sticky," I said.
His grin was huge. "If you do it right."
I thought back to something he said a few days ago.
"You said there were six major sex positions."
"And infinite variations there of," he said.
"What are they?"
"I think I'll show you, rather than tell you."
"No, not now. We just did the boom-chick-a-wow-wow. Give a guy a rest, will ya?"
I smiled. "Oh, yeah, you're an old man, I forgot. I have to take it easy on you."
He slapped my thigh.
"I will tell you we've done man on top, and man behind, that's two."
Well, if that didn't get me thinking.
We dozed, and when I woke the Sunday afternoon light was filtering in through his bedroom window.
"I need a shower," I mumbled.
"Help yourself, I'm going to sleep a few minutes more."
The cold shower was wonderful. While I was soaping up I started thinking about the program at Emory again. I had to tell Jean-Luc about it. I fine sheen of sweat beaded up on my forehead and I turned to face the spray to let the cold water wash it off.
I toweled dry and used the white terry cloth robe that was on a hook on the back of the bathroom door. The robe was so long on me, it looked like I was wearing a royal cloak with a long train.
"Hey baby," Jean-Luc said when I came out.
"What's up?" he asked when he saw my expression.
"Ah, um, ah," I said.
He came over to me and put his arms on my shoulders.
"It's just, I um, I'm supposed to leave to go to Emory for college in two weeks and if you want, I won't go. I can apply to go to the tech instead."
"No," he said firmly.
I was both glad and crushed. He cared about my future and he didn't want me.
"It's a great school. You should go."
Tears welled up, but I blinked them away.
"We'll think of something," he said.
"I don't want to talk about it," I said.
"Okay," he said.
"Want to have sex instead?" I asked.
"I don't want you to break my cock," he said.
He cracked up.
"No. But you might want to give your sacred spaces a rest. We've already had sex three times today. You could get honeymoon cystitis."
I didn't know what that was, but it didn't sound good.
"But we could have sex tomorrow, and the day after."
Now that sounded like a plan.
I really wanted to learn what those other positions were.
Jean-Luc was true to his word.
I should definitely start keeping a diary.
One that had a lock.
It was Saturday before I had a day off, and I walked over to Bevvie's to see if she wanted to go down to the lake with me. Thank God it was back down to beauteous temperatures again.
When Bevvie opened the door, she didn't seem exactly herself. Except that she had a bag of Snickers minis in her hand.
"What's up?" I asked.
She backed up to let me in.
"Marce, do you think you could use some of your gymnastic training stuff to help me lose weight?"
"Yeah, of course, you could start going to the gym with me—"
She cut me off.
"I'm too embarrassed to go to the gym."
"We could start right here," I said. "With gentle stretches and stuff."
"And do you think you could, like, use some of your psychology stuff you're always studying to help me with the, you know," she held up the Snickers bag, "psychological stuff."
"I mean I'm so lonely."
Then she broke into tears.
I hugged her, getting smothered in her breasts.
"Bevvie, I can't believe you said that. We're like, best friends, how can you be lonely?"
She was crying too hard to answer.
Suddenly I thought about altruism. I had been so busy having sex, I hadn't noticed my best friend needed help. I disentangled myself from the embrace.
"We will tackle this together, Bev. Whatever you need. I'm totally here for you."
"Will you, ah, go to Overeaters Anonymous meetings with me? And sit in a meeting with me the first time? I'm scared to go by myself."
They have those?
"Sure Bev. Of course, whatever you need. Why didn't you ask before?"
"Because I'm a sucky friend, that's why," I said.
"I wasn't ready," she said.
"You need me to go on a diet with you, I'll go on a diet with you," I said. "You need to just walk a block, then we'll do that."
She started crying again.
"You don't have to do it all at once, and you don't have to do it alone."
"It's about sex," she said.
"I'm afraid. Do you think if um, I want to go to a therapist, you can help me find one?"
For some reason I laughed. Relief I think. "You better fucking believe it. Come on Bev, it's a good day. We'll start now. And you know what? It's a good day for me too. Helping you is going to help me a bunch. You'll see. This will be the best thing in the world. For both of us."
Sex. Sex. Sex. Sex. Sex. Sex.
How do you know if you're a sex addict? No, no. It's just that it's so new and Jean-Luc is so good at it. But. Wow. Yeah. Wow. This diet of daily sex thing. It's something I could really get used to.
I kind of wish that Bevvie had a boyfriend too and she wasn't so scared of it.
Between work, Jean-Luc, helping Bevvie, and trying to get ready for college, I was super busy. The next two weeks flew by. Pretty soon it was the night before I had to go.
I was both excited and bummed.
But mostly bummed.
So to speak.
I lied to my parents. Just outright lied. I told them I was having a sleep-over with Bevvie, but I was really going to spend some time with Heather, Evan, and Jean-Luc, and then spend the night with Jean-Luc. It seemed only fitting.
When I arrived at Heather and Evan's I expected the mood to be somber. It wasn't.
Heather made salmon and spinach for dessert. It was light and delicious. You know, I should introduce Bevvie to Heather and Evan. Heather could teach her to cook healthily and Evan could teach her not to be afraid of sex. And maybe she wouldn't be so lonely when I was gone.
I finally got the meaning of altruism. It wasn't giving from the extra; it was giving from the core.
Like not caring if you were sharing your childhood friend with your sex club friends.
Like not considering them your sex club friends any more.
Because they were your real friends.
"What?" they all asked me at once.
"Nothing," I said. "You guys are great, that's all."
"We know," Evan said.
We all cracked up.
After dinner we watched a foreign film called Y Tu Mamá También. If there's any movie that will put you in the mood, it's that one.
Then we all went out onto the porch. But before we sat down, Evan said in a voice that was so super casual it wasn't just off-the-cuff it was off the whole suit, "So Marcy, you feel ready to go from pee wee football to the NFL?"
I stared at him. I stared at Jean-Luc. I stared at Heather.
I didn't even know what that would entail.
I nervous giggle escaped me.
"I don't know, would that included cheerleaders?"
Evan stepped close, his voice low, his expression predatory.
He licked up my neck, one long, slow swipe.
"But you could imagine fantasy cheerleaders," he said, in a voice so low, so almost sub aural that the tone warped with distortion. "If that would get you through."
Breathe Marcy. Breathe breathebreathebreathebreathe.
You're leaving tomorrow. This may be your only chance. This is what you've been waiting the whole summer for.
"I'm ready," I said.
His voice was so low, I'm not even sure I heard him.
"Play ball," he said.
Evan took my left hand and Jean-Luc took my right and they very gently led me over to the tall wooden fence at the edge of the deck. Evan put the hand he held up on the flat board of the fence, and Jean-Luc put my other hand up on the fence. Evan tap-kicked one ankle where he wanted it, and Jean-Luc gently kicked the other, and pretty soon I was standing spread eagle against the wooden fence wall, a criminal in a play of my own doing.
Jean-Luc put his hand on the back of my head and angled it down. Suddenly I was a subdued, small captive, between two large men, with no idea what was going to happen next.
There was a pause, which seemed interminably long. The crickets seemed loud. I noticed the rise and fall of my chest, as I tried to steady my breathing. I stared at where the wood of the deck met the wood of the fence; they were different colors.
Evan and Jean-Luc each put one elbow high on the fence, bringing their chests and armpits close to the side of my face.
My God, I could smell them.
Evan's subtle smell of soap. Jean-Luc's smell of expensive, subtle cologne.
The smell of powerful, aroused males.
And something else.
I didn't know that could have a smell.
But it sure as fuck did.
I started to shake.
In complete synch, they both put their hands on my lower back.
"You can stop at any time," Jean-Luc whispered in my ear.
"N-no," I said. "I want to go through with it, whatever it is. I want to experience everything. Go big."
Evan's voice, low and raspy. Menacing. "Big words from such a little, little girl."
Evan. "I've waited a long, long time for this."
Oh God, oh God, please help me through this.
Their hands started rubbing up and down my back. Up to my shoulder, down to my low back. Up and over my shoulder, down to my low back. God that felt so good. Evan's hand was slightly warmer. Jean-Luc's hand was bigger.
I sighed. It was so comforting. So nice.
Evan. Growly. "Don't get too comfortable."
For a brief moment they both gently grazed their fingers over my outstretched arms. I realized something. They loved each other. Not sexually. More like super best friends. Or brothers. No, tighter than brothers.
But then I couldn't think about it any more because they were rubbing my back with long strokes.
Up over my shoulder, down my shoulder blade, my low back, over my ass, up the same path, down. Up, down, cupping around the bottom of my ass cheek, back up. Not comforting any more. Hot.
Evan's side. Yanked my shirt out of my skirt waistband.
Evan. "Scared little girl?"
What the hell happened to the Evan I knew? I blinked. Wait. This was still him. The Evan I trusted. This was his game. He was the bad cop. Did that make Jean-Luc the good cop? I turned my head to look at Jean-Luc. He gave me a reassuring smile and gently palmed the back of my head and guided it back so it was positioned far down.
They caressed my bare skin. That same wonderful stroke of my back. Same mirrored movements in tandem. It was hypnotic. I let my eyelids float closed. Up, down. Up. Down.
Someone unhooked my bra.
Jean-Luc nuzzled my neck.
Someone tucked my skirt up into the waistband. Whoa, that left my rear end like right out there. Was I wearing good underwear? Um. Like, plain white ones. No. White ones with the little ruffle frill across the butt. Would they think that was sexy?
Then Evan bit my neck and there went the self-conscious panty train.
Everything sped up.
Jean-Luc's hand on my breast; Evan's hand on my back. Evan's hand on my breast, Jean-Luc's hand on my breast. The thought occurred to me they must have done this a hundred times, their hands moving in perfect harmony, driving me crazy, hands, hands everywhere, kneading, nipping, scratching biting. Two hands on each breast, oh God, hurry—more—my skin started to...sear it was heating up so fast. They were rubbing my nipples between their fingers, rolling them, pulling them, pinching them.
"That's it, little girl, make noise for me."
Jean-Luc, ducked under my shirt to suckle my nipple. Evan kissed and licked down my spine. At least, I think it was Jean-Luc at my breast and Evan at my back, wasn't it?
Switch. I think. At least, now it was my left breast that was sucked into a warm, wet mouth, and the action at the middle of my back was licking, kissing, biting, and a dragging down of gentle teeth.
Yeah, that was Jean-Luc. Definitely Jean-Luc.
I opened my eyes. Except for a minute my vision was fuzzy. I thought I saw I glimpse of dark hair through the wide opening of my shirt, but I couldn't be sure.
Sharp nip on my breast.
Satisfied masculine laughter from in front of me. Burning in my toes.
So, so wet. Already.
Hands on my hips from behind. Then two more from in front.
Remember to breathe. Oh please remember to breathe.
Evan. "Off with your shirt!" He whips my shirt off.
Jean-Luc. "Off with your panties."
Evan has to steady me. I'm wobbly. Jean-Luc pulls my underwear down very slowly. I step out of them. I'm still wearing my skirt. It's still tucked up in the waistband. I feel the cool breeze on my ass. I'm sweating, there's a breeze; I'm exposed. I shiver; it's not from the air.
Evan comes around from in front of me. There's a moment's pause.
"Whoa!" I jump.
The slap wasn't hard. In fact, it was very light, although it made a resounding sound. But it really startled me. Evan laughed. Who the hell is he?
"Sorry baby," he said in a sarcastic voice that sounded like he wasn't sorry at all. Then I felt a kiss where the smack had been.
"Ass men," I said sarcastically.
Fist in my hair. My head was yanked back.
Evan. "I don't think you should be talking."
"It's okay, baby," Jean-Luc said softly.
Evan let go of my hair. There's a gentle caress of my ass. I assume that's Evan.
They go back to the very first position they were in, each with an elbow against the wall. They begin the long stroke rubbing, except now I have so much bare skin, it's totally different. And Evan's hand, on the left, is getting dangerously closer to my ass crack with each stroke.
You wanted this Marcy. You wanted to eat the world. You wanted to experience everything.
I remembered something Evan said. I won't hurt you. He did say that didn't he?
I open my mouth because I'm panting.
God, I'd kill for an ice cream cone right now. That's nerves.
Fingers very lightly feather through just the top of my butt crack. I jump.
A soft voice in my right ear. "It's okay baby. You can stop at any time."
Deep growl in my left. "Like hell."
I know I'm safe. I know it. This is part of his game. And I can admit it. The contrast is...edgy. It's turning me on.
One big palm rubbing down my front. One hot hand on my back. Hands on my breasts. On my ass. Everywhere.
And then, the tiniest dip into the very top of my wet cleft in front at the exact same time as a finger so gently circles the rim of my hole in back.
Oh that's a lot.
And then they do more.
A cool gel in back. What is that?
But then I forget everything because Jean-Luc has found my clit and I don't know what the hell he's doing but it's—
Except then I feel a slight push at the back at my asshole and I'm struck with utter, total, complete overwhelming panic. Like five alarm earthquake nuclear war hospitalize me for anxiety panic attack level panic.
I hear skidding of shoes and then all of a sudden I feel a small, soft, cool hand touching my lower back.
"What's up?" she asked softly.
"Oh, nothing," I said calmly. "I was just wondering if you made something for dessert."
They all laugh.
"Your husband is a freaky freak freak."
"Oh really?" she said, with sarcasm so thick you could fill a chasm with it. "That's news to me. I've never heard that."
Jean-Luc had stopped touching me, but he sneakily went back to letting his fingers dip into my folds and he was stroking circles around the magic button, not touching it.
"Unh, unh," I said.
Heather started making small circles on my back.
And Evan started making small circles around the back door hole with his cool gelled finger. It was all too much, and yet suddenly it was all not enough.
"You can always stop," Jean-Luc said.
"No," I said firmly. "I want it."
Evan put a finger inside me and Jean-Luc gave me a hard stroke across my bud.
"Now that's my girl," Evan said.
"Oh God. The sensation is so new, and different, and weird, and in—"
"No talking," Evan said.
Jean-Luc slid one strong finger in my front, and Evan and Jean-Luc started withdrawing and pressing in, making me into some bizarre, fantastic version of that Chinese finger cuff game, except the dirty, sexy, awesome kind.
I was so glad for Heather's calming hand, rubbing small circles on my back again, because the sensations were intense. All of my blood, liquid, essence, hell, most of me was pooled in the bottom of my pelvis, like, well, like I don't know the hell what.
Jean-Luc kissed my ear. Licked it. Bit my ear lobe. My God. I think I can feel my heart pumping.
They were still keeping up that steady in and out, only Jean-Luc added another finger and was using his other hand to rub over the—
"You still need me here?" Heather asked.
I shook my head. I couldn't get the words out. But I think I'm good now. Beyond good. Oh God. Way beyond good.
"Ready for more, little girl?"
Evan pushed two fingers into me. Ugh. Oh, that felt weird. What was he doing? Except then Jean-Luc did something in front and bit me.
Yes. God yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
Jean-Luc moved in front of me.
"Baby, look at me."
My head was so heavy. My eyelids were so heavy. I looked up at him.
"I love you, baby."
I looked at him.
I wanted to say it back to him but then Evan did something back there and my words were cut off.
Jean-Luc reached down and unzipped his pants.
He bit his lower lip for a second and then let it go.
"So little girl," he said in a light teasing voice, obviously making fun of Evan. "Would you like to see my cock?"
I nodded vigorously. Oh yeah.
Evan stuck three fingers in behind me. I cried out.
"I'll distract you, baby," Jean-Luc said.
He took his cock out. It was huge. That'll distract ya, all right.
Jean-Luc pumped his cock twice and put a condom on. Evan pulled his fingers out.
Jean-Luc lifted me easily and impaled me onto him.
"Position number three," Jean-Luc whispered in my ear. "Standing up."
Jean-Luc grabbed my hips and ass and rocked me away from him and back into him.
"Oh," I moaned. "It feels so good."
"I love you too. J.L. I love you, I love you, I love you. I do."
I felt the tip of something cool against my back door. A low growly voice in my ear. "Have any love to spare for me, sweetness?"
"Yes," I breathed.
I felt a tiny push from behind.
But then Jean-Luc took all my attention, making love to me with his whole body. The buttons of his shirt were rubbing hard against the center of my chest, his hands gripping hard on my hips and ass, his cock thrusting hard in my core.
Then I felt a hard push from behind and Evan was all the way in.
I cried out.
They both stopped.
There was a buzzing in my ears. Blood flow pounding everywhere. A tightening in my lower back. I was sandwiched tight between their big bodies. It felt safe and incredibly dangerous all at once.
Still none of us moved.
The sensation of fullness was overwhelming.
They were both inside of me. And not just in my body either.
"No turning back now," Evan said from behind me.
And then they were both moving. Pulling in and out in exact synchronized rhythm. I felt their hard lengths almost touch and bump inside me, like they were connecting through me on some deep level, the three of us some deep cosmic chain. I was giving from the core.
"Unh, unh, unh." The high screaming. That was me.
Then I stopped breathing for a minute. Just stopped. And somehow that sent me into another kind of high.
Jean-Luc must have noticed, because he jostled me. I opened my mouth wide and air whoosed in, a huge rushing torrent expanding my lungs like a raging river. I looked up right into Jean-Luc's eyes and the intensity magnified our souls locking in together even more.
He kissed me even more deeply, devouring me, and then licked my lower lip.
They withdrew and slid in. A congruence of everything right in the Universe getting faster and faster. Out and in, in and out, out and in. A tingling started up my toes, burning up my legs, running, zooming, tackling, bursting every cell and turning me to stardust.
This is what Evan meant. Total domination.
They owned me.
I'd do whatever they wanted.
As long as they didn't stop.
Jean-Luc or Evan, I don't know who, snaked one hand between our bodies and worked my clit mercilessly. I threw my head back and screamed.
I came so hard, I saw stars. A million, white-light sparklers crashing into me and breaking me apart.
And putting me back together a better person.
What was it Jean-Luc said? We're better when we touch deep.
But even that didn't begin to cover it. It could feel them even more now. Pumping in and out of me. Ripples of little aftershocks were squeezing them and shaking me to my core, physically, emotionally. Psychically.
And still they didn't stop.
If anything, my orgasm set them off and they started hammering harder.
I was floating. I pink, wispy, swirl of cotton candy rushing through me everywhere, sweetening my legs, my dripping core, my nipples, my forehead, my tongue.
My hair plastered to my cheek, Jean-Luc's shoulder, probably Evan's neck, even into my mouth as I moaned.
My soul lifted out of my body and I looked down on the three of us.
We were gorgeous.
The most primal, amazing, sexy, Godlike thing I'd ever seen.
I wanted it to last forever.
I looked at Jean-Luc and realized he had a heart the size of Indiana. Bigger. And Evan was magnifying it.
Jean-Luc let out a huge shout, which must have been heard in Canada for God's sake, and came into me so hard I thought I felt it through the condom. Evan pounded into me for a few seconds more, but I had collapsed into Jean-Luc, a bag of loosely joined cells, a wet noodle so over cooked it was possible it may never be palatable for consumption again.
Evan slammed into me with a grunt and stopped. He hugged Jean-Luc and me tight.
"Touch down?" I said weakly.
They both laughed.
They both laughed again.
"Going away present?" I said. My voice came out scratchy and soft.
"How about a see you again soon present," Evan said with the care and love and trust in his voice that I had always felt.
Evan pulled out. The emptiness felt weird.
Jean-Luc very carefully pulled out and set me down. I leaned against him. I didn't know what to say.
Evan very gently brushed my stray, sweaty hairs back into place.
"You okay sweetness?"
"Better than words can possibly describe."
A soft, satisfied chuckle. I'm not sure from whom.
Gentle hands were patting down my back. Totally different from the pre-game plan stroking.
"Hhhmmm?" I was in a stupor. I wasn't even sure my hearing was working totally.
"I'm not sure whether on not this is a good time to discuss this."
"Um, if it can wait, it probably should, I'm pretty wiped. You guys really know how to bore a girl into submission."
"Or bore a girl into submission."
"So, yeah. Men, 1,000. Hearing, zero."
"All right sweet star. I have some possible ideas for going forward. But we'll talk about it later."
I had a vague thought, later when? But I was too wiped to think clearly.
I felt lips brush against my ear.
Sexy masculine voice. "I could carry you home, cradled against my chest. Little slip of a thing like you."
"Don't get cocky just 'cause you're cute and you can help Mr. Gorgeous give me the most mind-blowing sex anybody in the known world ever had." I said. "But yeah, I can't make it home on my own."
"That's my girl," Evan said.
We were packing my dad's SUV with the last of my stuff to take to school when Jean-Luc showed up.
I had a brief moment of panic. Oh no! I'd have to introduce him to my parents. Then I thought. So what? I had grown a lot over the summer. Enough that it was okay to introduce my fabulous boyfriend to my okay, I have to admit it, pretty cool parents.
He got out of his car.
"Hey, mom and dad. This is my boyfriend, Jean-Luc."
My dad looked kind of nonplussed. My mom blinked.
But they recovered fast. My dad shook his hand, and my mom actually hugged him. I expected them to do the 'what do you do for a living?' and 'aren't you a little old for Marcy?' thing, but they didn't.
"Ah, do you mind if I talk to Marcy for a minute?"
"No problem," my mother said graciously.
We walked down the block a little. Toward Bevvie's house actually.
"Hey sweet star," he said sheepishly.
"How you feeling today?"
I smiled at him. I'm pretty sure my smile could provide mega-watt light up power for half of Indiana.
"That's good," he said.
"Anyway..." he said. He seemed kind of nervous. He always struck me as super confident, hottie rock star guy. What could make him nervous? "Anyway, anyhow, I was thinking..." he toed the ground a little and stared at his shoe for a minute before looking at me.
"Well. My law firm has an Atlanta office. I asked them if I could transfer there, on a temporary basis. All my cases are national. I do most of my work by phone anyway."
My eyes peeled wide and my face lit up.
"So, if you'd be interested, I could move down to Atlanta and work from there. We wouldn't have to move in our anything. I figure you're planning on living in a dorm, and I wouldn't want you to miss out on the college experience. But I could get a place really close to the college, and if you want we could keep seeing each other. I mean, if you want."
I jumped into his arms.
He swung me around.
"Is that a yes?"
"That's a YES!"
"Oh my God. I never thought that would happen. I mean, I didn't even think you'd want to date me date me, being that you were..."
"I was going to say, such a handsome player and all."
"I'm not a player, Marcy."
"Well, I know that now."
"I'm just a freaky perv. But, I'm a one girl freaky perv. If you're the girl."
"Good thing too. If I didn't go into a sex club I might never have met you."
"It's not a sex club," I said. "It's a love club."
Feb 11, 2018 in romance