Thank You for the comments, feedback, scores, and especially the encouragement to continue with the Babydoll series. Thank You for the private e-mails and comments sent my way. We continue the journey, moving ever closer to the end of this story.
Like previous installments, this is a direct continuation of the last chapter. This is meant to be a Dramatic series filled with Romance, Intrigue, Taboo, and most of all Sex. I have attempted to keep the chapters from being too long - A little more than a stroke story, a little shorter than a short novel. I have more chapters that I am currently editing and putting the finishing touches on.
Once again, I am sorry for the delays in the production of this story, but please remember that I have invested a lot of time in this.
Like I have said before, please give the story a chance, even if there may be something that doesn't suit your fancy. The next step in the journey might make it worth your while. That's the way the best dramas work. I am trying to pull in all of your senses.
Anyway, any likenesses or similarities of character are purely coincidental. I hope you will read the previous chapters, if you haven't. But, you can always jump in here and go fill in the missing pieces provided in the earlier stories.
This is a taboo topic, so I know that it is offensive to some. The material is erotic to me because it is forbidden in society. This is purely fantasy. Hope you enjoy the fantasy.
Baby John's Baptism
On Friday, I slept in until 10am and felt rested. Jill had already awoken and was down in the living room watching something on television, when I arrived downstairs. My mother wasn't home, so Jill, Ash, Baby John, and I were the only people there. I fixed a bowl of cereal, then headed up to take a shower and get dressed.
I wanted to get out of the house for a little while, so I headed downstairs to ask Jill, "Jill, we're gonna go by Big's office and maybe we can go to a couple stores. Ok?"
Jill nodded, "Sure, but what about Ashley..." looking to Ash, "Ashley you wanna go with us?"
(Ashley) - "Nah... you two go ahead. I don't like taking the baby out in public yet."
I nodded in understanding agreement. Jill got up and came to kiss me on the cheek before heading up to shower. This was good because it gave me a chance to be alone with Ashley and the baby.
When I knew that Jill was certainly in the shower, I had a chance to be honest with Ash. I wanted to make sure that she had her space, so I didn't get too close, "Ashley, she'll be in the shower, so we can talk... I'm sorry about last night."
She gave me a knowing stare, "What was that all about? When y'all came in the room?"
I tried to explain, "We had a buzz. She doesn't smoke weed and I think she just really had a buzz."
"It was just weird and I've always had a bad feeling when things get weird," she spoke frankly.
"I know what you mean... I'm sorry," I apologized.
Ash shook her head, "There you go again... My god, when will you stop?"
(Jim) - "I dunno... I'll always have this guilt."
Ash gave me that peculiar look again, which mirrored my own, because there were no answers, there was really nothing to say. She lifted her eyes and shook her head, "Well, I'm glad we're alone. I was going to tell you that I am naming you the Godfather of John."
Admittedly, I grinned a little at the notion.
Ash continued, "You'll have to get up there with me tomorrow during the christening, when I present him to Pastor Bob."
"OK," I was happy, but at a loss for words. All I could say was, "Thank You," as I trembled at the honor.
"You'll never know how much I love you Jimmy... you never will," she stood up and came to me, hugging me and kissing my cheek.
"Ash..." the words lingered as I took my finger and tilted her chin to look in her eyes as tears welled up between the two of us. I so wanted to kiss her lips. They drew me in like a magnet.
"Shhh..." she shook her head and pulled back. "This is neither the time nor the place. It's over," she went and gathered up Little John and headed out of the room as I stood in a stunned mess, feeling shame. I'd always have that shame.
I went and took a seat and sat in silent reflection awaiting Jill. It wasn't long before she came down the steps ready to head out.
When we got to my Grandfather's office, he took us around for the usual meet and greet. The only attorney there was Mitch, but all of the secretaries were there. My grandfather said they were making a short day of it, since it was the day after Thanksgiving and most all of the governmental offices were closed.
The secretaries and paralegals took notice of Jill. Big lauded praises upon her and informed practically everyone that Jill was a great student and she was looking to get into the legal profession also.
We went into Big's office, "You two can come have lunch with me at the club."
"Big," I bemoaned, "I was going to take Jill shopping."
(Big) - "Jimmy, You've got an hour and then you can go shop."
Jill smiled and nodded at Big, "We've got an hour Jimmy... We'll be glad to be your guests Mr. Paige."
Big smiled, "I like this girl Jim. She's the first person besides myself that gives you some direction... and darlin' you can call me JP, that's what most of my friends call me if they aren't call'in me asshole." He guffawed aloud at his self deprecation. Jill and I just looked at one another and shook our heads in sync. Big had risen up from his office chair, "I'll get my coat and we'll head on."
Big got his coat, and let his secretary know that we were heading to the Downtown City Club, which is only a couple blocks away. Lunch there was always great. Big introduced Jill and I to practically everyone he knew, which was basically everyone. I had met most of these people before.
At one point Big looked at me in a serious manner, "Boy you're going to have to learn to speak up and be more outgoing." I hadn't thought anything about it."
"Whatta ya mean?" I asked.
He continued, "When I speak with those people, I'm not doing it for the hell of it. I'm networking."
I nodded in acknowledgment, "Yessir" of the lesson he was providing. I knew better than to interrupt his soap box rant.
"Hell some of those people aren't people I even really care about, but they need to be aware of your presence... got it." He took another bite of his sandwich and looked around proudly.
He was making me feel small at the moment, but there was always a valuable lesson to be learned.
"You know... you think you know, but you don't know..." more looking around like a bad ass. "You didn't want to come here and have lunch, but you've got to get your name out there. You're supposed to carry on my business in a few years and I'm not a god damned spring chicken. I'm getting old. You are going to have to be ready."
Jill looked worried, but I grinned, because I knew that he was really going all Vince Lombardi on me and giving me a pep talk. "I've gotcha Big Daddy... I know."
He smiled, "OK... but I've told ya before boy. You're in the deep end. There's no way out. It's sink or swim."
I knew what he was talking about on multiple levels. He blew my mind how he could do that. Jill looked scared to death. She hardly knew my grandfather. She didn't know what to think. She hadn't ever seen him in this mode.
We headed back over to the office a little before 1:30pm. The days continued to be sunny and mild with the temperature in the mid-60s. Big dismissed us and gave Jill a $100 and told her to buy herself something nice. We hugged in the reception area and then he headed back to his office room, "I'll see ya in the mornin' boy. OK?"
We headed to the mall to shop. I hadn't been in the place since the fateful day last year when Ashley wanted me to go with her. We all know how that ended.
In the modern day vernacular, one would say that Ash is a hottie and Jill is a cutie. They're both beautiful creatures and there isn't much difference, but the cutie is the one with the "girl next door" looks. Jill has the more athletic and lean body. She's pretty and she's someone that you'd take camping or to a ballgame or anywhere you'd take a guy. Ash on the other hand is fully a woman. Ash likes watching movies and shopping is a sport for her. She's got that 'fuck me' look that makes a man look twice. Mama taught her fashion and how to be prissy at a young age.
Jill and I went into all kinds of shops. She held my hand as we went into the electronics store and checked out the latest gadgets. She was looking at the laptops, even though the one she already had worked fine. Then we both walled over to check out the CD selection. We must have spent an hour in the place. She bought a couple CDs and I bought some discs to burn on, but it was more of a wish list trip.
The next stop was at the sporting goods store. Jill wanted a new pair of running shoes. She used a good part of Big's $100 to get a pair of top of the line shoes that were in the Black Friday special ad. I was my typical shopping self. I was never really into it. I was just being Jill's sidekick, as I had always been for the ladies in my family.
The one thing I did insist on was that we head to Dillard's. I wanted to get the Ashley and the baby something for his christening. I didn't find the boy anything there, but bought Ashley a charm bracelet with a couple charms, using Jill's advice to pick it out. After we had paid, I cajoled Jill, "Let's go over to the perfumes."
Jill smiled and seemed to sashay in a more feminine manner as we headed to the cosmetic/fragrant department. I was nervous when I saw the lady working the counter. I wondered if she'd recognized me, the way she smiled as we approached. It was Michelle and she asked, "May I help you," staring at me the whole way.
"Yes ma'am, I want some cologne for my fiancée. I'm going to walk around, while you help her," I was nervous because for some reason this lady was recognizing me, even though I'd only seen her a few times in my life. I leaned into Jill, while patting her ass, whispering, "Here's my credit card. I'll be back in 30 minutes. I want you to get something that says 'fuck me' and drives me crazy. I stood back and chuckled, "Thanks Michelle," feeling aroused by my power play.
I walked away thinking, 'Wow, her name is Michelle Davis. That's why I felt I had heard Mitch's name before... small world.' I headed to the coin shop on the side of the mall. I didn't have long, but I knew what I wanted. I wanted some silver coins from the present year for Little John. I walked in and told the gentleman minding the store that I wanted some silver coins in the present year, because it was for a christening present. In about 5 minutes, I had chosen American, Canadian, and Chinese one ounce silver coins along with a proof set. These would be perfect keepsakes I thought. 'I'll buy him some every year for the rest of his life,' I thought. I was so proud of myself.
With my purchases in hand, I made my way back to Dillard's to pick up my woman. Jill was waiting on me as I approached. Michelle was waiting on another lady, but gave me a side eyed glance as I walked up to Jill. "You ready?" I asked.
"Jim," Michelle came from behind the counter, "one moment ma'am," pointing at the lady she was waiting on. As she approached, the customer she was waiting on had a look like she couldn't believe she was walking away from serving her.
"Yes?" I was nervous wondering what this was about.
"Will you come here a moment?" she asked.
"One minute," I looked at Jill.
I approached Michelle, "Here's a little bag of samples, Jill might like to try," then subtly she mouthed, 'Call me.'
I smiled thinking how brazen. I looked in the gift bag to see 5 different perfume samples and her business card. 'Man, she isn't gonna give up,' I thought to myself. 'Now that lady is a hottie and in my mind we connected. She'd definitely fuck if I wanted to.'
As we walked out of the department store, I asked, "Did you find what we wanted?"
"I think so," she emphasized, while nodding. "Do you know her?" she questioned.
"No... why?" I reticently asked.
"She was very helpful... I think she has the hots for you."
"Really?" I modestly questioned.
(Jill) - "She was asking all kinds of questions about you. She said you've bought stuff from her before."
"Yeah, the ladies in the family love all that kind of stuff," I played coy. "I can't believe that she remembered me."
"Jimmy, you are hard to forget," she snickered.
It was almost sundown as we pulled into the driveway. We grabbed our packages and made our way inside and up to my room. I laid down and took a nap, while Jill headed downstairs to sit with Ash in the den. I needed some distance with the way I was feeling. I must have dozed off, because I awoke and felt like some time had passed. I looked at my bedroom clock and saw that it was 7pm.
I headed downstairs and looked in the fridge. There were plenty of leftovers from Thanksgiving. I walked into the den and asked the girls if they had eaten. They said they hadn't so I told them I'd warm up some of the leftovers if they would like. I noticed that my mother wasn't with them, so I asked where she was.
Ash explained that she had come home from work and headed to bed. Apparently she'd gotten up early, after partying and staying at Joe's, to go make sure her stores were operating properly and didn't get home until 5pm and was exhausted.
I fixed the leftovers and then went to wake up my mother, before letting everyone serve themselves. The food was certainly still delicious, as we all pulled out the TV trays and sat in the den watching the usual holiday fare on television. I wasn't really into old holiday movies, so I excused myself, choosing to turn in early, knowing that I needed to read a couple chapters of Political Science and go over some other material to prepare myself for the upcoming week when I would be back at school. This would be the best chance to do that knowing that Saturday would be a big day with the christening and Sunday we would be traveling back to school.
I spent a couple hours reading and making notes with my schoolwork, before it had worn me out. I was having a hard time concentrating, laying in the bed for a while thinking about any and everything involving my personal life.
Saturday would be a big day. I closed my eyes seeking sleep and eventually found it. I don't know when Jill came to bed, but I awoke in the middle of the night to find her laying beside me in the dark. Obviously, she hadn't attempted to awake me. I laid awake for a few minutes, but soon found a deep slumber again.
The next time I awoke was around 8am. I had been asleep for, I figured, around 9 hours. I laid there for a while, but I wasn't going to be able to fall back asleep this time. I decided to get up and so I headed downstairs and started the coffee and fixed a bowl of cereal.
I headed to the den and saw that Ashley was barely awake, laying on the sofa while the television played some mindless cartoon. I walked in and sat in my usual chair. "You still watch that stuff," I asked.
"Not really," she spoke with a drowsy tone. "The baby was hungry so I fed him and brought him down here... he seems to not be as fussy when he's down here... I turned on the television and this is what was on. Having something on in the background usually gets him to settle down.
I felt a need to complement her, "You really are a good mother Ashley Jameson."
"Your damn right I am. I owe it to him," she stated matter of factly.
I winced not knowing how to carry the conversation related to motherhood further, knowing it would only lead to my apology again. I drank the milk from my cereal, before asking, "If you want to go back to bed, I'll watch him."
"Thank You..." she nodded before getting up and heading up to her room. I was glad to watch him. It's something I wanted to do a lot of. Not long after Ash headed up, I got up and turned on Sportscenter and picked up John and brought him to me and held him as I sat in the chair, "I hope you'll play sports someday John." I could only dream.
The Christening ceremony would be held at 3pm. It would only be the pastor, the church's vicar, and the family. The ceremony was private, because of the situation with Ashley being a single mother. She would have been uncomfortable presenting the baby in front of the entire congregation. Our church regularly has over 300 people for the service held at 11am on Sundays.
Ash had been laying low throughout the year, not wanting the situation to be any more scandalous than it already was. She hadn't been out in public by herself much since she had begun showing a few months into her pregnancy. Everything had been scripted well by Big to ensure that as little embarrassment as possible would be caused to the family and the less that was said, the better.
We all packed in our cars and headed to the Country Club at noon for brunch. The host sat us in one of the private rooms and a buffet lunch was set up for us in the corner of the room. There were a couple of attendants/servers who helped us with serving or anything else we needed.
Mitch joined us for lunch a few minutes after we arrived. He had continued being a close friend to Ashley throughout her pregnancy. It seemed that she didn't want him to be a "boyfriend", but she appreciated him being around and he didn't seem to mind the current state of affairs or at least he didn't let on that he did.
My sister was beautiful, feminine, and a lady. Anyone could see that. I'm sure all of that and more came out in the conversations that Mitch and Ashley had had... and Mitch certainly carried himself like a gentleman.
Lunch was great, even if it was pretty much a formality. It certainly wasn't necessary, since we had had plenty to eat over the past couple days. Gramms had made sure that we didn't have anything Thanksgiving related on the menu. There was a small cut of Prime Rib and salmon with Shrimp Cocktail and crab cakes, fresh garden salad, heris coverts, potato soufflé, and the ubiquitous cheesecake assortment. We all had a flute of champagne and Big made a toast to his first grandchild. As awkward as the moment was, it had been made as comfortable as possible. Maybe the naiveté of Gramms to the reality of the situation was what helped with all of this.
It was around 2:30pm when we began making our way over to the church. Pastor Bob, his family and the Vicar and her family had all joined us for lunch and the pastor and the vicar had left a little earlier to prepare for the ceremony.
When we arrived at the church, we made our way to the small annex sanctuary where the ceremony would be performed. The ceremony wasn't going to last very long. We all sat together in the small front pew area and awaited Pastor Bob to enter, when Pastor Bob entered, Ash and I stepped forward with Little John .
As the godparent, I was the child's representative for his baptism into the church. Little John, as a baby naturally couldn't understand or respond during the service, so it was my duty to make the commitments on his behalf. This would bond me to be his friend, mentor, and spiritual guide through life, even if I could never admit to his parentage.
I would essentially be his legal guardian, if anything ever happened to Ashley. In my mind, I was at piece knowing that I was making a commitment to support John through life. I was resolute in knowing that I would always make sure that he would be taken care of. I wanted him, but I'd have to step back to a degree.
Growing up, I had been baptized and confirmed in this church and it was special to me that John was doing the same at this moment. I couldn't help but think of all that had happened here. I looked at Joe standing off to the side and thought about my father having never been here for any of these moments. I didn't want John's life to be like mine, but I appreciated the interest Joe had taken in my life. He had been like a godfather to me, but I wanted to be so much more to John.
Everyone else in the family had stepped forward and stood behind us as we presented John to Pastor Bob. Pastor Bob held John and asked me to answer questions and make declarations on John's behalf.
Pastor Bob brought us to prayer and alluded to my duties as John's godparent and then we prayed for John, who seemed cool to the situation. We were asked to reject the devil and rebellion against God... to renounce deceit and the corruption of evil... to repent of the sins that separate us from God and fellow man... to accept Christ as our savior... to submit to Christ as the Lord... and to come to Christ as the way, the truth and the life.
With that Pastor Bob handed John back to Ashley and made a proclamation, "We welcome Johnathon Robert Jameson into our Church family, as a child of Christ." He continued, "Christ is the foundation of our belief and he said that the Church is his bride. We are all family. Welcome to the family John."
I have to admit that I felt guilty, because of the sin that had created this baby, but he was so precious and beautiful. How could I feel guilty about anything when it came to him? And how could I repudiate my love for Ashley? I couldn't.
The ceremony was over and it was time to head home. Ashley and I headed separate ways, with her heading out with Mitch and me heading to my own car with Jill. I felt I had ignored Jill on this afternoon, but I hadn't meant to. She was really quiet and reserved on the way home. After a few minutes traveling down the highway home I had to ask, "Are you alright?"
"Yeah," she responded in a meek fashion.
"What's up?" I wondered.
"Nothing..." she seemed to search for something to say. "Well it's just you have hardly spoken to me today."
I apologized, "I'm sorry... I've just had a lot on my mind."
"About?" she hesitated seeking a response the way women often do.
"Worrying about nothing I guess," I couldn't ever tell her the truth and what did it matter at this point any way.
Jill went back to her sullen mood and it wasn't long before we were back at the house. We both headed inside and changed into more casual clothes to relax. I headed to the living room, while Jill remained in my room to read and study for school.
I turned on the football game and sat in a stupor. The football game was more background noise than anything. Jill and I were the only people in the house. Apparently, Mama had decided to hang out with Joe for the evening. I didn't know where Ash and Mitch had headed to, but I figured that she would be home before long.
I was right, because about 4:30pm, Ash came in the door carrying little John in his car seat cradle. Mitch had walked Ash in to make sure she was inside alright, made sure to say hello to me and then excused himself with a goodbye. I think he didn't want to be an unwelcomed imposition upon Ashley. Like I said, she obviously considered him a friend and not a boyfriend. I mean she didn't even hug him goodbye. She thanked him for coming to the christening and then he was gone.
Ashley stood in the middle of the room, "Where's Jill?"
"Studying," I answered in a simple fashion.
"Oh," she seemed to want to say more, but didn't.
I looked in her eyes wanting to speak, but couldn't really find the words.
She continued, "I'm going to put John upstairs to take a nap, OK."
I nodded in reply as she turned, took John, and headed upstairs.
I sat, basically continuing in my stupor, for a few minutes, thinking. I couldn't get the circumstances off of my mind.
I had to let Ash know. I had told her before, but she had to know (to acknowledge), that I was going to take care of her. This was my fault. I was going to explode if I held it inside. It weighed on me so. I headed upstairs to her room.
I entered the room where Ashley stood gazing at little John, while he seemed to be returning her stare. "Ash," I spoke quietly as I entered her room.
She turned as I approached the crib, speaking subtly and intuitively, "You don't need to say anything Jimmy. I know... I know you are going to take care of us."
I felt the weight of the world lift for a moment, because it didn't feel like she was being dismissive. It felt like she was acknowledging my love and that meant everything to me. I was doing it to myself out of guilt for my crime, which had been a crime of passion.
Ashley picked up Little John and handed him to me. I felt so human... so vulnerable. It brought tears to my eyes. I was cradling him with Ashley standing next to me. She had her arm around my waist and was looking between John and I. There was a certain amount of comfort, while we stood together with our son. There was a special bond in the room at the moment, a light hearted love filled the air.
I noticed a presence as Jill walked in the room. She was standing there and staring with a blank expression looking at all of us, "That boy is your son, isn't he?" she mocked.
"What are you talking about?" I stared at her seriously as Ashley looked on with fear and trepidation.
"IT'S OBVIOUS?" Jill mocked.
I continued staring in disbelief with my hands full with John. There were no gestures I could make and what could I say.
"SEE! You're not denying it," she continued.
"Shhh!" I implored. With that paranoia that someone else might hear her.
"I knew it... I knew it," She laughed and cried hysterically. "OH MY GOD! Oh my God... I knew it."
"Keep your voice down," I begged.
"Uhnn-Uhhh," she pointed in admonition, as if she were losing it.
Ashley took John from me, almost in a protective mode, and laid him in his crib as I addressed Jill, "Jill, you can't say anything."
She looked at Ashley, "I knew it..." as she continued the hysterics, " Ohhh my god... Ohh my god..."
I walked towards Jill, but she receded as though she didn't want anything to do with me...
"Fine... I can't believe this shit's going on... I can't believe this..." as she turned and walked through the door.
I looked at Ashley, who had risen up after placing John in the crib, "I've got to go after her."
"I know..." Ash said looking scared, "You've gotta get her to settle down."
Jill had run out the front door and was sitting on the front steps crying when I caught up with her. I sat down next to her, but knew better than to touch her, "Jill, I'm so sorry... Never in a million years would I ever want to hurt you."
"I'm sitting here putting it all together. I knew it, but I dismissed it... You fucked your own sister," she said with contempt.
"Shhhh," I plead. "Let's go inside. It's getting cold out here." The sun wasn't long for disappearing below the horizon on the clear skied, late fall day.
Ignoring me she continued, "Why? Does it embarrass you?" she ridiculed me with a contorted gesture.
"Yes. It's not something to be taken lightly." I affirmed.
(Jill) - "You didn't fucking think about that when you were fucking her."
(Jim) - "Let's go inside."
(Jill) - "You didn't think it was wrong to fuck your sister."
(Jim) - "It just happened."
"Puuuhhh-lease" she puffed. "This is so fucked up."
"I know. I never meant to hurt you. I never want to hurt you." I couldn't help trying to put my arm around her as she slid away from my embrace, "I'll admit. I loved her more than any brother should ever love his sister and I'm gonna pay the consequences... I'm sure you hate me for being a freak."
"No," she wouldn't look at me, "I could never hate you. I just need some space... I gotta get out of here... I need your car. Let me have your keys."
(Jim) - "You need a jacket."
(Jill) - "I'll fucking be fine."
(Jim) - "You won't do anything rash?... I do love you."
(Jill) - "No, I just need to go think... alone."
I handed her my keys and she took them and went to my car. She got in and backed out and took off. I half looked up, while continuing to sit on the steps, as the tail lights escaped down the road. A terrible sense of shame washed over me.
I was sitting in the dark of the basement, listening to some of those old love songs I'll listen to when I have the blues. It was amazing how the tears flowed while listening to Brenda Russell's Piano in the Dark. It had been five hours since Jill had left and Who wouldn't wonder if she was going to take off under the circumstances.
She was my fiancée. We were only a few months away from getting married. It was a marriage arranged and forced on me by my grandfather, but I was used to the idea now. I was used to the normalcy that Jill had brought to my life. I didn't want to lose that.
Suddenly, I sensed a presence as I looked at those familiar doors to the entrance of the room where we had all peered around before at one time or another. Jill looked around solemnly and then walked towards me.
I'm sure she saw my tear stained face, as I spoke, "I wondered if you'd be back. I'm so sorry. Now it's my turn to beg you not to leave me... please don't leave me."
(Brenda Russell's beautiful song continued in the background, "He holds me close like a thief of the heart... He plays a melody... Born to tear me all apart... The silence is broken... And no words are spoken but oh...")
Jill sat next to me and placed a finger to my lips, "I always wondered about the crazy stuff... I asked you, now I understand why you wouldn't say anything. It's all come together now... You're sadness was for Ash. When we were here last Christmas, I sensed there was something funny going on and I couldn't put my finger on it."
She paused before continuing in a soft tone, "I now understand how much you love her and I don't know if you can give me that kind of love... It makes me feel like I've wasted my time... Like you'd leave me... Like we wouldn't work out."
I began bawling, "I do want to be with you Jilly... I do want you... You are so easy to be with... You make me feel good about myself... about us."
She put her finger back to my lips, "I was riding around this evening and the things you have said, and not said, they all fit like a puzzle now," a tear rolled down her cheek as she embraced me, "I can't leave you. I want you. I don't want to be apart from you. You are the man I want... we are good for each other... I'm willing to fight through it all to keep you." With that she came up into my lap, "I just want you to hold me."
She put her arms around me and laid her head in the crook of my neck. I thought she was going to fall asleep there, but then she whispered in my ear, "I've invested a lot of time in you. I know most relationships don't last forever, but you are who I want to be with. I only had a couple of boyfriends before you. For the most part I feel like we are on the same wavelength... we get each other, we want the same things. I just don't want you to leave me and I don't want you to cheat on me."
I kissed her temple, "I don't wanna do that either... I do love you... you make my life easy. You've always been there for me. I don't wanna lose that... I don't wanna lose you."
We both sat there saying nothing. I tried to meditate it all out of my mind and just live in the moment. Eventually we both laid down on the sofa and fell asleep. It was the next morning before we awoke. A fresh day, but everything was still there. Everything, all of the reality, all of the emotions were going to have to be dealt with. And that cast a pall over my spirit the moment I came to consciousness.
I got up and went upstairs. It was apparent that my mother had never come home. She had to have stayed at Joe's, which felt like a good thing. I so wanted her to be happy. I started up the coffee pot, making a full pot for whoever would want some. It wasn't long before the coffee was ready. I fixed a pan of scrambled eggs, link sausage, and several slices of toast. I got two of the large coffee cups and filled one for Jill with the touch of cream she likes and filled my own with cream and sugar the way I like it.
It was a little past 9am when I got back downstairs. We'd both had plenty of sleep, but the emotional trauma of the day before left both of us mentally exhausted. Jill's eyes were open as I handed her the coffee and she sat up to sip it. I sat beside her and gulped mine down the way I do. Jill spoke, "Would Ashley mind if I went upstairs to look at that little boy?"
(Jim) - "No, I don't think so..."
Jill put her coffee down and arose from the sofa. I followed her as we walked upstairs to Ash's room.
Ashley was tending to him as we entered the room. As we entered the room, Ash had a blank stare on her face, apparently trying to read the situation.
Jill approached Little John and asked, "May I hold him?"
Ashley gave a slight smile looking at Jill first and then towards me as she handed John to her. Jill held him as though he were her own and she was looking at him for the first time. This made my heart melt. No one said a word for several moments before Jill apologized, "I'm sorry for the way I acted yesterday... I know I scared you. I was scared myself. I don't know what to say."
Ashley stood beside her, "I'm sorry. I know this is weird and I'll be embarrassed about it the rest of my life, but I do love that boy and..." she looked towards me, "I do love you Jimmy." She shook her head, "But what we did was wrong on so many levels..." She trailed off and put her arm around Jill, "And you are the one for my big brother. I knew that when I met you and I love you and I want you to be in our family."
Ashley turned and hugged Jill tilting her head down into her shoulder as she held our son.
That was the setting that I will always remember. The four of us standing in that room. Little John didn't know anything, but we had come to an understanding. We were all going to put this behind us and move forward. To be unspoken was unspoken, but understood.
Jill and I would be heading back to school in just a few hours, but I wanted to wait until my mother got back home to say goodbye. We left the room and headed back to my own to pack our bags. Ash did her best to stay out of the way, because even with an understanding there was a lot of awkwardness in the air. She had turned into a bit of a recluse, which was understandable, but it certainly needed to stop. I didn't want it to turn into some kind of mental state.
Everyone had some breakfast on the run. Mama finally made it home at 11am. Joe had dropped her off and left without coming in. She was wearing her dress from the day before, but looked a bit disheveled. Jill had asked me in the privacy of my room if my mother knew about the situation and I was as honest as I could be.
I told her that 'Mama didn't know. The only person that really knew was Big Daddy and he had made all of the arrangements to keep it all quiet.' I pleaded with her, 'I know this is crazy... Please don't bring this up with him or anyone... I've made my entire family vulnerable, and you, I've put you in a precarious position. I wouldn't blame you if you left me.'
Throughout the morning, Jill had given me knowing looks, shy looks, vulnerable looks, angry looks, and sorrowful looks. The one thing she was having a hard time doing was looking me in the eye. My nerves never really settled. I knew our relationship would never be the same. I wondered if the damage of the revelation had made our relationship irreconcilable.
It was right at noon when Mama had had her shower and cleaned up, before coming to sit at the kitchen table and talk with us before we left. It wasn't long before we headed out to the car. Ash came out to see us off, hugging Jill and apologizing with a whisper. Ash looked like she wanted to hug me, but seemed to know better in Jill's presence with the current state of affairs.
The one thing I did tell her, "Ashley, I need you to do one thing for me. You have to get out of this house and back out in public." She nodded as I looked her dead in the eyes and leaned forward to kiss her cheek, not giving a damn what Jill or the rest of the world thought, because this girl meant more to me than anyone or anything ever had, "Please."
We headed out and my mind was still a million miles away, as was Jill's. For the most part, we were both quiet and reserved for the trip back. I set the cruise control as we headed down the I
nterstate, only stopping for a gas and bathroom break halfway through the trip. It was around 6pm when we arrived back at the apartment. I carried all of our stuff in and we both headed our separate ways under the guise that we needed to study and get ready for the upcoming week. Not to mention that finals would be in the next few weeks and Jill had to work. That is the way the holidays are. Events come rapid fire and there isn't much time to play around. With where Jill and I stood, that would either break us or we just might make it.
The last week of November and the first half of December flew by like they always had. Jill and I didn't see one another all that much, but there was one thing that gave me hope. She hadn't left my bed. We hadn't had sex since we had been back and I wasn't going to push her.
This was definitely unusual for the two of us. It wasn't like we fucked like rabbits and I am definitely a quality over quantity guy when it comes to all of that. We always had our weekends, but Jill was dismissing me every time that I'd approach her in any kind of romantic fashion.
She'd let me kiss her, and sometimes she'd return them in a more than gracious manner, but it never went to the chemical stage. She was working all weekend during the holiday season. "I need the money and the weekends are the time to make it with all of the Christmas parties going on... I've got four exams coming up... just let me get through this," were the things she'd say.
She insisted that we spend Christmas with her parents and then we would head up to New York City to Time's Square to watch the ball drop. New York City was only about six hours away from her hometown. I was more than happy to oblige with her wish and everyone in my family was alright with it, but it would be the first Christmas that I would ever be away from home - another of life's evolutions.
We waited until December 23rd to head to Jill's parents house. The restaurant she worked in would be closed from Christmas Eve until the day after and Jill had already asked to go home, which the manager of the restaurant agreed to.
We had done our best to not allow the revelations of Thanksgiving to get in the way our relationship, but there was no two ways about it, it had. Jill was more reserved when it came to our personal relationship, but she wasn't overt about it. As we got closer to Christmas, I did what I could to be more expressive about my romantic intent. She needed to know I was still interested in her, even if she was going to be standoffish towards me.
I had the car packed and ready to go for as soon as we woke up and had some coffee. We stopped and got a couple breakfast sandwiches and were on our way. This was only the second time that I had been to her home.
We hadn't seen her parents for a couple of months, since they came to our college hometown for a visit during football homecoming week in late October.
It was a cold grey wintry day and as we traveled north there was a light snow falling and some of it was coating the grass along the Interstate. We had left right after 9am and expected to arrive at Jill's house between 2pm and 3pm. The traffic was heavy on the day, so it was going to take longer than expected. About an hour into the trip, Jill reached over and took a hold of my hand and we held hands in the console. Her gesture gave me the continued hope that we could work through our issues.
I looked over at Jill as she returned my gaze, "Thank You... I love you."
"I just realized how much I love you Jimmy," she replied as she came forward to kiss my cheek.
I continued to hold her hand, not wanting to let it go for fear I might not get it back. We were about halfway into the trip, when we needed to make a restroom pit stop and I decided to fill up the gas. When I had finished pumping gas, I pulled out of the fill up area and pulled into a parking space, along the side of the huge rest stop area, where trucks parked at the Interstate Gas Station complex.
I wanted a moment alone with Jill before we got back on the road. The next stop would be her parents' house and Christmas, and I felt there might not be a chance to say what I had to say, "I'm so sorry for bringing you into my messed up life, but you have to know that I have always loved you."
"I know that Jim," she replied as we finally after weeks looked deeply in one another's eyes. "I do know it," as she turned away.
Then there was an awkward silence, "Look at me," I demanded.
"I can't," she said, as she stared out the passenger side window.
I reached out my hand with my index finger under her chin and pulled her face to me as I saw a couple tears stream down her eyes. "You told me that you wanted me and needed me. Things can't go on like this. If I hadn't wanted you, I wouldn't have asked you to marry me. I could have run away. I want to make a life with you. Don't you understand that?" I asked.
"I know. I'm afraid though," she said.
"I'm afraid too," I admitted.
She gave me a perplexed look, "Oh yeah... I don't think you have ever been afraid of anything in your life." I could tell she was upset, but she wasn't really mad.
"I worry all the time. You know that. You have seen it." I confessed. My hand caressed the side of her face, then lightly slipped through the mane of her hair, pulling it back over her ear, as she closed her eyes.
"I just wanna kiss," I proposed.
She opened her eyes and brought her face towards mine in a willing submission. She was visibly shaking as though it were a virgin kiss. I knew that, with all that had happened, there were pent up anxieties. I hoped that we could shed them.
The tension could be cut with a knife. With the closeness, I could hear her struggling for breath.
Suddenly, her hand moved to caress my jaw line. Through the tension we found comfort when our familiar lips brushed one another's once, then twice, and finally a third time until we settled into one another.
Her lips were soft and warm with the essence of the cherry chap stick she had applied earlier. Her head turned to the side for better access, while her arms came around my neck for a closer, more intimate embrace. The kiss was innocent so far, just lip kissing, but the car's warm air began to crackle with electricity. I pulled back, leaving us both breathless for a moment. I felt good and wanted more as she shifted, moving closer.
I pulled her tightly to me, and opened my mouth slightly, hoping she would return my advance. I slithered my tongue gently, oh so gently, into her mouth seeking her own. She sighed as our tongues finally found each other and began their rhythmic fornication.
Of course the exercise went to the next level and my libido began to roar after weeks of being cut off. I naturally became more aggressive, as I controlled the pace of the moment. I enjoyed the moment so much that I couldn't pull away. This kissing had taken control of me - of both of us.
I knew she had to notice my cock tenting my pants as the kissing had gotten more passionate. Her chest was mashed against mine now as I had virtually pulled her to my side of the car. My hands now held firmly to the cotton covered sides as her sweater had risen above her beltline. My fingers maneuvered her undershirt above her waist until I felt the bareness of her skin.
Our mouths were now enraptured and our tongues were now deep inside, so deep, rutting against one another. I was lost to the outside world. I was ready to fuck. I so needed to slide my hot rod inside her - right here, right now.
My hands rolled up her bare back. I needed to stop, but couldn't bring myself to do it. Things had seriously escalated to the point where they were getting out of hand. My brain was overwhelmed with her mouth, her tongue, her being. My hands rolled to the tops of globes of her ass and frittered under her beltline, squeezing the warm flesh.
I reached and pulled the lever that brought the car seat down, before pulling Jilly over me. She was lost and I was lost. One hand held her hip again as she leaned over me, the other tussled her hair as our kisses continued.
Suddenly she pulled back and stared in my eyes, "You said kiss... we... (kiss)... we've gotta stop. We can't do this here." Jill had decided to be the adult. We were certainly putting on a show. I understood what she was saying. I had caused us to get carried away.
I didn't want to stop. I knew she could feel my engorged cock pressing against her side as she lay at an awkward angle atop me. I felt like a horny teenager pushing the boundaries of lust and desire. My libido had been so pent up after nearly a month without sex. I wanted to push her limits, even if she said she wanted to stop. She needed to know I wanted her. I saw in her eyes that she wanted me, but this wasn't the time or place.
"I'm sorry," I apologized, hoping I hadn't made our situation worse.
She placed a finger to my lips to hush me, "No reason to be sorry. I just remembered why I love you."
"Oh Jill, you just made me feel better," I had a tear run down my cheek.
She smiled, "I think you broke the spell." I smiled at that thought. She continued, "Are you willing to wait."
"Whatta you mean?" I wondered what she was asking.
"We can't be getting crazy at the house," she resolutely stated.
"But..." I began to reply in frustration.
Jill interrupted, "Do you love me?"
"After this?" I questioned.
(Jill) - "Then you'll wait until we get to New York."
"Uhhh... OK... But can I at least kiss you?" I agreed, again in frustration.
"Yeah, but not in front of Mom and Daddy," she insisted.
I gave her a half-yes, half-no look and then nodded in the affirmative, "I understand." I didn't want to understand, but I knew what was best. We needed to get back on the road anyway. It was a little past noon and we still had 2 1/2 to 3 hours before we'd get to Jill's house.
Jill's hometown is a college town. Her dad is a professor at a major university, while her mother teaches at the local high school. This is where Jill naturally received her intelligence. She told me that her mother taught her how to read before she entered kindergarten and this is why they took education so seriously. In meeting them, it was easy to see that they were on the square side, but at the same time they seemed very open minded.
We pulled into town a little before 3pm. The snow's powdery residue had begun to cover the streets, but not on the main roadways and highways. It didn't seem like the type of snowfall that would put a hindrance the holidays; just seemed like it would be enough to paint the landscape.
Jill's childhood home was an older house located in the old historic district. The wood frame house sat not far back from the street where we parked the car, Jill kissed me before we headed to and through the front door where her parents were sitting in the kitchen awaiting our arrival. Jill and her parents had there customary hug and kiss greeting, as I took a seat in the old rocking chair in the background. We all sat down and relaxed for a while chatting and sipping on some mulled cider that Jill's mother had made, which gave the kitchen and dinette area a wonderfully cozy cinnamon holiday aroma.
After an hour or so, Jill's dad helped me get our bags out of the car, along with a few gifts we put under the Christmas tree in the living room. We all came back inside, gathering in the living room and watching the local early evening news while Jill's mother began preparing dinner along with the assistance of Jill. I think they were actually spending more time getting reacquainted than working on the meal.
It was around 7pm when we had dinner, which consisted of a hearty chicken pot pie and salad. Jill's mom was very reserved about the offerings, "Jim, I hope you don't mind Chicken Pot Pie and a salad. We'll have some nicer things tomorrow night and Christmas day."
I smiled in reply, "Ma'am I love chicken pot pie and salad." She smiled back while coming to the realization that I wasn't fussy about food. And really it was quite delicious. I had a second helping and could see that she was pleased with that.
After dinner we all made our way back to the living room and watched the movie "Christmas Vacation". You know the movie with Chevy Chase in it. I hadn't seen it in a while. It was just something to pass the time.
During the movie, Jill's mom went out into the kitchen and brought back some apple pie and ice cream. She had shown a lot of hospitality the last time we had visited and this evening was no exception. I was happy that Jill's family liked me. They were pretty easy going and laid back. I could see where Jill had gotten her personality from.
The evening settled in and it had been a long day. It wasn't much past 10pm, when I headed up to the guest room to sleep. the room was in perfect order and I made sure not to be a slob with my belongings. I had changed and was getting in the bed when Jill came in. Like the last trip, she'd be sleeping in her room. Her parents weren't naive. I'm sure they knew we slept together, but this was their house, we weren't married and this was a proper formality.
I enjoyed Jill tucking me in. She was a motherly figure for me, who always over the past couple of years had taken good care of me. I knew now that I didn't want to lose that. She got up on the bed and laid on top of the covers and hugged with me for a few minutes.
I had made he a promise that I would wait for sex. I had a lot of pent up sexual frustration and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't thinking about it. This was the longest I'd gone without sex in a couple of years. I couldn't wait for the next week to arrive.
When Jill left the room, I jostled my agitated balls and thought about jerking off, but I would have been uncomfortable doing it in this strange house. I knew that I was ready to get to New York and that a little copulation was going to be a priority.
The next morning, I awoke to a smiling Jill and sunshine streaming through the window of my room a little before 9am on Christmas Eve. It was hard to tell which was more luminescent?
"Good mornin Sunshine," I couldn't help smiling, even in a place I was unaccustomed to being.
Jill came forward and kissed me in a more than serious manner, while I deftly pulled her atop me.
"Uh-uh-uh," she playfully reprimanded me, as she pushed herself up against my chest. "Remember, you promised to be a good boy," she chuckled.
I'd heard that before. Wistfully, I rolled my eyes, but smirked, "Did you wake me up or did I wake up on my own?" I then exaggerated a yawn.
"Yeah, I woke ya up ya big dope", she swayed as she mischievously answered. "I thought we'd get out of here and go do some shopping and get something to eat for lunch."
"You wanna go out in that traffic?" I incredulously asked.
(Jill) - "Yeah, I don't wanna sit around here all day long."
(Jim) - "OK... I'll go if you kiss me like you did yesterday."
(Jill) - "You're impossible. You know that."
(Jim) - "OK, but do I get my kiss."
With that she came forward and we mimicked what had happened the day before. Only this time, my now massive erection poked through my lounge pants and against the softness of the skin of her thigh. This caused Jill to reflexively bristle, even if she had been intimately familiar with the appendage in the past. She playfully slapped it, before chiding me, "Put it away Jimmy. We had a deal."
"I know. I'm sorry..." I apologized, before chuckling, "He's sorry too."
"Yeah, he's proven to have a mind of his own, hasn't he." She pushed herself up off the bed and looked me in the eyes, "Well... I'm going to get ready. I'd suggest you do the same... You can use the shower first... I set you some fresh towels out."
I waited for my erection to subside a bit, before heading to the bathroom downstairs. There was a small half bathroom attached to the attic bedroom, but the shower I would use was in the adjoining bathroom between Jill and Andy's rooms.
I headed for the shower in my pajamas, with my morning wood begging for attention. I could feel my aching, virulent balls filled and needing release. Stepping in the shower all I could think of was to wonder how I was going to get through the next week in the pent up state I was in.
The shower was torture. I lathered up my plump cock, but was wracked by the torment of being in this strange house. If I were at my apartment at college or my shower at home, I'd have jerked the load right out, but I just couldn't do it in Jill's parent's house. It was bad enough to be using a shower that Jill's brother used. If the shoe were on the other foot, well that would be fine, but I just couldn't relieve myself in this place.
My shower was rudimentary, quick and essential. I got it over with quick. Getting out, I dried myself off and put my sleeping clothes back on and headed back up to the loft room. I put on a nice pair of faded Levi's, my boxers, a t-shirt, and a sweater, along with my socks and walking boots. My genitalia felt super-sensitive, as they filled the gusset of my jeans, but as usual the jeans did not bind me too bad, because of the loose fit I always preferred. I felt a bit agitated in the moment.
I made my bed and sat back against the propped up pillows. I hadn't been ready very long. when Jill entered the room, "You ready?" she asked.
"Yeah... If you are." I responded as she came up and grabbed my hand to pull me away from the bed. We headed downstairs and grabbed a bite to eat. Jill's dad was reading the newspaper, sitting in the corner rocking chair, as we sat at the dinette table and ate bowls of cereal and drank orange juice that Jill had brought to the table. Jill's mother seemed to be in the other rooms preparing for the get together that would be held that evening in the house. Her parents would be spending the day at home getting ready for Christmas.
Jill let her father know, "Daddy, Jim and I still have some shopping to do. We're gonna head out here in a few minutes. We'll be back after while."
George looked over his paper and nodded, "OK."
About that time, Betty entered the room, "Jill, I was hoping you'd help me a little bit."
Jill seemed a little perplexed by that notion, "Mom, I still need to get a few things."
Jill's Dad gave more attention, "Betty, let the kids go have some fun. Everything's ready. I'll help."
Jill's mom huffed, "puhhh... OK George, but you aren't going anywhere now."
Like any old married couple, George seemed a little exasperated, "I wasn't planning on going anywhere Betty. Whatever you need... and I'm gonna relax too. No need to get worked up..." With that Betty headed back out of the room, appeased and ignoring us as she proceeded with her Christmas Eve rituals.
"Jill," George spoke with self-satisfaction, as though he was going to crown his victory, reaching in his pocket, "Here are the keys to the Cherokee, y'all can use that... just make sure you bring it back in one piece."
Jill bounded up to George with a gleeful disposition, "Thank You Daddy," and she gave him a kiss on his cheek and a hug. The old man seemed to be beside himself emotionally with pride at making his only daughter happy. He nodded towards me with a look that showed how much he loved his daughter.
We both headed out, having to re-park and rearrange the cars before we could leave. George's Cherokee would be better to drive on the streets that might be slick due to the inclement weather the area had experienced over the past couple days. Today was sunny however. The temperature would remain in the upper 30s, so there would be some thawing, but not enough to melt the snow and especially not in the shadows of the short winter day.
After I had pulled my car as far up the driveway as possible, Jill and I back out of the driveway a little before 11am and we were on our way.
(A few hours later) Like any good boyfriend would do, I carried Jill's bags as we went from shop to shop. Thankfully she was just buying small presents for her family. There wasn't much left to purchase and the excursion seemed to be more of an excuse to get away from the house.
I wasn't going to be home, so I really didn't have to worry about gifts. I had my Christmas gifts shipped home a couple weeks before and I received some gifts and expected others from my family to be awaiting me, when I got back to my college apartment. I did get a few trinkets for Jill's mom and dad, and a video game for Andy that we could play over the upcoming days.
It was getting close to 2pm, when we headed over to one of the local eateries. The place was swamped, so it took nearly 30 minutes to get a table. It wasn't a big deal, because we weren't in a hurry. Once we were paged that our table was ready, we met the hostess and walked side-by-side to our table. I had noticed that Jilly was looking exceptional on this day and I believed that the fragrance she was wearing was the one I had asked her to purchase on Black Friday, because honestly it was driving me a little bonkers, but maybe in the state I was in I was over reacting to the stimuli.
Jill was wearing her usual choices for winter clothing, a worn green denim shirt over a white t exposed by a couple of open buttons and a nice pair of brown corduroy cargo pants, wool socks, and hiking boots. There was nothing special about the ensemble, but on this day, in my mind, she was rockin' it. Maybe this was all due to my current state of horniness. Her hair was done up in a pony tail and the toboggan she was wearing perfectly accented her face and the look. Out in the weather, she bundled up in gloves and a red wool trench coat.
We made small talk as we awaited our Burgers and fries to arrive. Jill worked up the nerve to address our relationship, "I know how you were feeling the last month Jimmy... I'm sorry and I won't hold it over your head. If things are going to work out, and that is what I want, then we have to get past all of it."
(Jim) - "You've had every right."
"... but I love you Jimmy Jameson and lovers don't do that... I hate asking," she paused for a moment, "When's the last time you took care of... you know?..."
I paused, "I haven't... I waited for you to come around and here we are at your parents place. I can't do that there... and I hate talkin' about that kind of stuff... I'm alright," I was so tense, "I'll be alright."
Jill looked pitifully towards me, "Jimmy, I'm so sorry... so sorry... I've hurt you."
"Nah Jill...," I whispered, "I'm a fuck up," I felt wracked with guilt.
We sat in silent reflection for a while, until our burgers were quickly and thankfully delivered. Eating made things less awkward between us and gave us time to resume our small talk. We were finished 30 minutes later.
As we finished our lunch, I didn't know whether Jill had finished all of her shopping or not, but when the server brought us back our change from the bill, Jill was ready with, "Let's get out of here." I felt a little antsy, with the tension of a simmering kettle as we headed to Jill's Dad's SUV.
I was ready to get back to Jill's parents house and maybe buy off on a little wine or a hot toddy to help me relax. I knew that Jill's parents would be OK with that. I also now understood better where I stood with Jill. It was a fucked up situation, but I knew we were going to make the best out of our lives. I also knew that I'd built up enough points that when we did have that opportunity to be alone that it would be special.
On our way to the car, Jill reached in her pocketbook for the keys and handed them towards me, "Jimmy, will you drive?"
"Are you sure your dad won't mind." I questioned.
"Just drive... OK," she insisted as I took the keys and got into the driver's side. I pulled the seat belt too and put the key into the ignition. I looked over at Jill as she cinched her seat belt. She looked so sexy as I caught sight of her gazing at the bulging crotch of my jeans. The sudden fluster caused my skin to heatedly flush.
These days I was in a constant state of arousal and I was becoming accustomed to having a woodie or a hard on that I couldn't do anything about. It was embarrassing to say the least. I was very much aware of my cock pressing against the hindered confines of the thick denim I was wearing, which did nothing to relieve the pressure.
Jill seemed to be looking around the parking garage as if to assess the situation. We were both looking side-to-side watching as cars passed by. She leaned to me and kissed my cheek, "Let's go for a ride." She seemed nervous as she noticeably gulped.
My erection wasn't subsiding in the least as I backed out of the parking space and followed the labyrinth out of the parking garage. Jill seemed very engaged in the moment as she spoke, "turn right..." She unbuckled her seat belt and came towards me and hugged me as we headed down the road. It reminded me of a year ago, when I picked her up at the airport and she virtually attacked me on the way home.
Jill didn't have huge breasts, but they were a healthy B-cup that stuck straight out like bullets, especially when she was wearing the type of clothing she was wearing on this day. I gulped, "Jill, you are killing me."
(Jill) - "I'm sorry, do you want me to sit back in my seat?"
"Yeah and buckle your seat belt..." I had to be honest, "You've got me so worked up I might wreck in this traffic."
It was getting close to 3:30pm. Jill's parents told us that family and friends would be arriving around 6pm. I knew they wouldn't want us showing up at the last minute and I knew Jill had to understood that also. In my buzzing state of mind, I didn't really understand where she wanted to go. I was unfamiliar with this strange place.
I couldn't help noticing Jill with her body turned towards be in an exaggerated fashion, even tethered behind the seat belt. I couldn't help but notice the brilliance of her green, multi-faceted eyes. She seemed to be smoldering in the essence of the moment. As we headed down the highway, I wondered where we were going. I was lost, but this certainly didn't seem like the way to get home.
I gripped the steering wheel with both hands, nervous. I tried to focus on the road, but couldn't help noticing Jill's stare. Her brow narrowed as she continued. I knew it was a tease. She was wondering how I could be ignoring her direct advances.
She finally spoke, "Don't think you can ignore me James." She spoke coyly.
I laughed, "You're playing games."
"Moi?" she snickered.
I lamented, "You've got me so flustered my mind is spinning."
'Hmm... Hmmm.Hmm... Hmmm,' she giggled under her breath.
"What's so funny?," I fussed.
(Jill) - "Nothing?"
(Jim) - What's so funny?
(Jill) - I'm sorry.
"You told me to wait for you until we got to New York... I'm so fucking horny my skin is crawling," I spoke with derision.
As we swept around a big corner on the thoroughfare, through where there were a bunch of apartment houses and a couple of churches, Jill directed me, "I want you to take a right up there at the next light, Earlysville Road."
"OK." I tilted my head to give her a perplexed look.
"Don't think I haven't been thinking of you through all of this. I've been mad at you, but I never stopped loving you." she found a serious tone for a moment.
"I know Jill... I'm sorry," finding myself in that all too familiar state of mind over my transgressions again.
"Do you know what I want Jimmy?" She closed her eyes and seemed to shudder in thought.
"I dunno... what?" I shook my head quickly, I didn't feel like guessing, I just knew how horny I could get sometimes... and how confused in those moments. Like I was right now.
She turned her body towards me and stared deeply into my eyes, "I want to suck your cock."
I was floored. I should have known, but had tried not to allow my mind to go there. All the blood rushed from my head, to my heart, and to my other head as I virtually vibrated. My already bloated organ pulsated and ached. I stared down the road as the traffic seemed to lighten and we looked to be heading out of town.
The blood drained from my face and I felt the chilly air of the winter day surround me.
"I've seen the way you were looking at me Jimmy." She paused, then continued, "You're hungry."
My mouth felt dry as it hung open to catch a breath. Jill reached out and placed her hand on my knee and rubbed up my thigh. Her hand shook with excitement, "I dreamed about sucking your cock last night. I decided it's been long... too long." The words hung in the air as we were now a mile out of town.
My cock throbbed in its confines. Jill was such a good cocksucker and it had been a while. Well over a month and I missed it.
"Remember when I picked you up at the airport last year." I reminded her.
"Yeah... that truck driver." she snickered in embarrassment.
"Yeah," I chuckled. "I've been about to cum in my pants the way you've had me so hot and bothered."
"I'm sorry Jimmy." she apologized. "We're going to turn in up there." she pointed as we headed down the straightaway. I was unsure of where she was pointing. It looked like we were near the airport, because I could see a runway strip over to the right. "Take the left up there," She pointed and moved her index finger as we approached.
The small road still had snow cover, but seemed manageable to navigate, "Where are we?" I asked.
"This is a girlfriend of mine's family's land. Her grandfather lives out here. I know where we can go park." she insisted.
We slowly trekked down the path. There wasn't a car or house in sight, "Are you sure this is a good idea?"
"It's a great idea," she vivaciously responded as we continued at 15 to 20 miles per hour down the snowy gravel and dirt road that ran through a wooded area. There were some ruts where it looked like a few cars had driven through the day. "Right here... right here... turn left." I turned left and we headed down a narrow access road that looked as though no one had been on this day. "We ride horses down here."
"OK," I answered nervously, wondering what I had gotten myself into.
"Back in right here... right here," again insisting. I did as I was told, settling the car in a spot hidden by tree cover, again without civilization in sight. The sun was beginning to wane heavily on an afternoon a couple of days after the winter solstice.
"Are you sure this is alright?" I asked again.
"Uh Yeahhh," she nodded in a contorted, exaggerated, affirmative manner.
"I just don't want some old man coming out here with a shotgun," I worried.
(Jill) - "It's a cold winter day with some snow on the ground. We're in an SUV in the middle of nowhere. Lighten up Boyfriend. He knows me. If he comes out here, I'll introduce you. He might be old, but I'm sure he's not naive, but there isn't much of a chance of that."
My stiffy had subsided over the anxiety of the moment, but there was still a woody and some aching blue balls. I turned off the car and enjoyed it's warmth as I looked to see beads of sweat roll down Jill's forehead when she took off her toboggan allowing her hair to spill down while she glanced around.
My inhibitions began to drift away as I stared at the beautiful woman unbuckling her seat belt and rearranging herself. I hearkened back to the last time I had sex with Ashley on that dark and deserted road back home, nearly a year before. If anything, I knew how to do this.
For a moment we just looked one another over, as if to see who would make the first move. I was transfixed as I watched Jill sexily look into the rear view mirror and apply lip gloss across her perfectly pouty lips. She applied the gloss then rolled her lips together to coat them evenly. I couldn't help staring as she removed her jacket and tossed it in the back seat to get more comfortable.
She caught me ogling her and arched her back accentuating her bosom, asking, "Do you like what you see?" she smirked.
I nodded my approval as I undid my own seat belt, but I couldn't take my eyes off of her sexy form, knowing what was soon to happen. My cock was once again throbbing in the tight confines of my jeans as I pushed the buttons on the car door arm to settle back.
Jill reached over and moved her hand up and down caressing my thigh, going a bit farther up my leg each time. I was virtually panting from the touch. Finally she reached my bulging member and cupped the gusset of my jeans in the palm of her hand, squeezing and rubbing. My cock was hard as a rock and my balls felt like a couple of eggs.
She reached up and released my belt buckle, and then the button, before finally beginning to unzip my jeans, and then she started tugging the clasp down a few inches, before pausing to take a breath through the nervous tension, and then continuing until finally my fly was wide open. It almost felt like a dream as I felt her rubbing my crotch. My cock was as hard as I ever remember it being.
My cock tented my cotton boxers, peaking through the fly hole in an attempted escape. There was a damp patch where my cockhead had leaked precum, "Hmmm," Jill breathed, exhaling the tension. "Merry Christmas lover," she cooed as she pushed me back down into the seat and maneuvered over me.
With her hands firmly pressed against my chest to where I couldn't move, she raised her body until her knees rested on the passenger's seat. She slowly leaned over the center console. Her face focused in lust. She then bent down into my crotch and was breathing her hot breath onto my manhood, which had slithered completely though the hole of my boxers.
Her hands then came down to run her fingers up my heated piston as she rolled the knob. She then tucked a hand under my boxers to feel my balls, lifting them slightly, for god knows what reason, but it certainly felt sensual.
She pulled away, tugging my jeans down further, "Kick off your shoes," she instructed. I had already thought about it. Jill maneuvered my jeans down more and I was more than willing to comply as I lifted my hips and helped her. I sat back in the seat in only my socks, as the underwear had joined my jeans in the pile with my shoes.
A moan of unbridled lust escaped me as I stared at Jill's sexy mouth. I was really going to get my cock sucked and couldn't take the anticipation. I thought about the past month of no sex. The last time Jill and I had been together had been mind blowing. Would this be as good as that was.
I leaned back further in the driver's seat, legs apart, feet dangling barely against the floor with Jill kneeling over my lower mid section. Jill rubbed my now bare cock with her palm. She inhaled and seemed to stare at the pulsating rod with fascination. "Oh my!" she gasped, not yet touching the shaft. She looked up into my eyes as we both trembled with excitement.
Finally, she deliberately cupped my bloated balls in her baby soft hand, squeezing gently, jostling my nuts around inside the sensitive lemon sack. Her other hand had wrapped around my root and began slowly stroking it up and down, with short, firm strokes at the base of the appendage.
I couldn't help involuntarily fucking into her hand. I wanted this. I needed this so much. My ass lifted and drug along the cloth covered seat as I drove the pistol into her molded fist. Precum drooled from the crown, glistening my cockhead to a glowing burgundy from its engorged state.
Jill's right hand completely encircled the shaft, squeezing at the root, making the veins of the shaft bulge in fury. "This belongs to me," she purred, giving me a possessive look. She drug her fist up the rod very slowly, holding it deftly so that I felt every inch of the sensation of her skimming palm and encircled fingers. Down she smoothly pushed, up she gently tugged, a smooth push, a skillful tug until she found a rhythm.
Suddenly, she changed to a tighter grip and stroked me with a firmer stroke. As she drew her fist up, she began to roll the knob... and then she'd jack back down toward my balls. She was now pumping steadily, in a rhythm that I felt was going to bring me off, but then she'd slow down which helped me maintain control.
Her face had tilted until it was hidden from my view, but it seemed like she was focusing on my sex. I was sweating in the heat of the moment, feeling my cock jerk with anticipation of what was to come. I raised my arms behind my head as my sexy woman's mouth drew closer to the crown of my erection.
"Wow!" I exclaimed as I felt her hot breath upon my sensitive cockhead, causing it to jump and twitch in the her controlling hand. Her head lowered further into my lap and then I felt her tongue touch the tip, causing me to growl.
"Mmmmmmmmm," she hummed, "just relax Jimmy." She rotated her head in my lap and licked my cockhead with a long, fluid motion as she finally took the whole knob into her mouth. She worked it around, layering it with her saliva before sucking it back into her mouth.
I couldn't help moaning. She had gotten so good at this and like they say, 'absence makes the heart grow fonder,' It made me feel so alive as I felt her drool immerse my entire slab of meat all the way down to my testicles. Ohhh and then she began to bob her head up and down, feeding the full length into her mouth until I was tickling her tonsils. Her lips worked magic down to my base as I reached down to caress her hair. She held still for a moment until she gagged and receded to my now throbbing cockhead.
Her tongue flicked my frenulum as she caught her breath, then she swirled her tongue around the crown of my glory, before kissing it and again bobbing her head up and down until the whole length was in with the mushroom cap touching her throat. My ass came off the seat to involuntarily sink further in. I wanted to cum so badly... I need to cum so badly. She peeled back off of me, before raising up to look me in the eyes.
Her eyes were watery as she leaned in. "I love you babe," she volunteered.
"I love you too," I admitted as our mouths came together and our tongues erotically fornicated. There was nothing more to say. This was love in its most basic form. We were enjoying being together. She was enjoying pleasuring me and I was enjoying the pleasure.
She went down on me again, attempting to stare me in the eyes as my cock vanished into her mouth, and then the head popped like a cork from her mouth in an exaggerated fashion as our comingled fluids drizzled down her pouty red lips.
I wasn't going to last much longer as Jill licked the entire length of my organ. I felt like I would explode at any moment. I tried to hold back, enjoying the delicious sensation as I squeezed my butt together in a futile attempt to hold back, "Jilly, I... I can't hold much longer!" I bemoaned.
She glanced up, "I wan.. cum in my mouth Jimmy!" she cooed in an exasperated tone as she tucked her knees further up onto the passenger's seat, bending further down in my lap. Her hand rubbed the front of my hip and sucked avidly, while bobbing up and down. She sunk her mouth as far as she could down onto me with her tongue caressing the full length.
She pulled back coaxing, "Cum for me Jimmy, Cum for me!" she insisted, before going back down on me again.
As she jostled my balls, I wailed as the palpitations of climax overwhelmed me, "Ohhhhh wow! unnnggghhh," shivering at the first pulse. "Shit..." I exploded. I lifted my ass again and again and again as I instinctively fucked her face. She sucked ravenously, milking every drop jizz as she steadily bobbed up and down draining me... gulping down as much as she could.
My hand rested on the back of her neck, as my eyes closed and I seized in a lost moment. I was heaving for breaths in this moment of vulnerability as I searched to regain my composure.. I hadn't cum in a month and I was shaking from the sensation.
Jill had taken things to a whole 'nuther level. She eventually came up my side, taking my shaft in her hand and milking it for every last drop of cum it had. The load had filled her mouth to overflowing. Cum drizzled from her lips and trickled in a thick ribbon down her chin as she swallowed and then ran her tongue around her lips.
I was finished as I leaned his head back against the headrest and slowly found my composure. Through all of the tribulation of the past month, this had made the wait worth it. I felt renewed, as if I had lost my virginity again.
Jill sat up, resting her head against my shoulder, smiling with a look of conquering satisfaction as she tugged at my withering cock one last time. "Ohhhhhh," she whimpered. "Merry Christmas Jimmy." She took her arm and wiped her face with her sleeve.
I sat back reveling for a few moments before finally deciding to gather my pants. I felt guilty, because I needed to return the favor, "Jill what about you?"
"Nah Jim, I'll be fine..." she inhaled and then kissed my cheek, "I can't be letting you get my panties off. We have a deal to keep."
I tried not to, but a giggled escaped me.
She moved back to her seat, "I know Jimmy, I know... I'm horny, but I wanna wait... I can wait... we need to get outta here and get home."
We pulled out of the little farmland driveway just as the sun began its descent behind the foothills of the suburban area. This place defined Jill and I felt like it was filling in the little blank spaces of who she was, as a person. She had me pull into one of the local gas stations. I filled up the car with gas, and we both headed to the bathroom to clean up. We ran the car through the car wash and then everything was presentable, as headed back to her house for the Christmas Eve activities.
After a tumultuous month, I had finally released some tension and had a new perspective of where I stood - where we stood.
Sep 2, 2018 in romance