Okay Folks, this one is kind of crazy. You can chalk it up to the changing of the seasons scrambling my brain, or maybe the fact that yesterday was the saddest day of the year for me. Yep, I put the Mustangs up for the winter. Anyway, thanks as usual to the incredible Mikothebaby for making this story readable.
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The funeral had been touching. It had been a truly beautiful ceremony. The flowers were fresh and the church looked and smelled great. The sun was high in the sky and beaming down on the people who attended, as if God was thanking them for their presence as he accepted one of his own into the kingdom of Heaven.
The priest had prayed and praised the departed, imparting upon her character the greatest accolades that could be said about any earthly woman, while I sat back in the first row giving the greatest acting performance of my life. I listened to it all with a completely straight face, nodding along with his words in seeming agreement, while inside I was laughing my fucking ass off.
I'd practiced for at least a couple of days by having Darla read the priest's speech to me while I tried to remain calm and collected. In the end, I'd failed. I hadn't been able to sit idly by and listen to a pack of lies, so I had taken the next best step. I was paying for the fucking funeral, so I got to say what happened. I changed the priest's speech.
Where originally he wanted to say that she was a great wife and mother, I edited it. He said instead that she was a wonderful mother to her children. Where he wanted to call her honest and caring, I made him change it to forthright and stalwart because nobody really knows what those things mean anymore. In fact, I was puzzled myself so I googled them and then had him take out forthright, because Kathy was a lot of things, but forthright wasn't one of them.
In actuality, the whole ceremony was a farce. Kathy wasn't even a fucking Christian, so having the ceremony in a church was meant to be a slap in her face. It was a sham meant to show penitence to my two and a half adult children. I really didn't want to do it, but Darla wanted a fucking family and my kids wanted me back in their lives as well.
My kids had no idea, what to make of Darla, and I wasn't saying a fucking word about her. As Darla pushed my wheelchair over to the grave after the casket had been lowered into place and I was supposed to throw or drop the first ceremonial clump or handful of dirt on the casket to send her spirit heavenward, I faked tears and infirmity. The few people there were touched and I gestured to my son Rad, short for Conrad, to assist me.
Had I not been there, it would have been my son Michael's job as the first-born son to handle it. My asking Rad to do it was a sign to family members that the breach between the two of us was well on the way to being repaired. My two other children, Michael who was thirty eight and Jessica, at thirty four, smiled and nodded; they liked seeing the rift between Rad and I healed. Conrad, who was thirty five, gently sprinkled dirt over the rich wood of the casket, while holding my right hand.
"Be at peace Mother. We all loved you and you should know that your family is united again as you leave us," said Conrad sadly.
Had Darla not pinched my hand so hard it nearly drew blood, I'd have lost it and burst out laughing. I screwed my face up in reaction to the pain of her pinch. Most of the people at the funeral mistook my pain for me thinking that I regretted the things that had kept my family apart for the past seven years.
Having Conrad drop the dirt was a master stroke on my part. On one hand, it saved me from having to do it. If I'd had my way, the casket would have been lowered into the grave with the lid open and instead of dropping dirt on the lid; I'd have pissed or spit into Kathy's face. The second reason is because when you get two alpha males in a pissing contest, only one of them can win. Conrad had always been an asshole and a wise ass and for the past seven years he'd been like a ship without a rudder. He'd been lost at sea with no landmarks to steer by and I had caused it for pure shits and giggles.
Conrad and I had a difference of opinion and, as usual, he tried to get into something that he should have had the sense to stay out of. It was the wrong time for him to do that, so Conrad ended up as collateral damage in the war between his mother and me. I did feel sorry for what I'd done to Rad, but if his pain and uncertainty over the past seven years made him a better man, it was worth it.
As the few people who'd come to see Kathy off left, after slowly parading past the grave and dropping their samples of earth on the box that would be her home until it rotted away over the next several centuries, I groaned.
"What's wrong, Fossil?" asked Darla. Her voice, which none of my children had heard until that point was paralyzing. It was the kind of voice that should be relegated to late night, smoke filled, jazz clubs and phone sex operators.
To say that my kids were shocked at the way she spoke to me was an understatement.
"I just don't feel like getting back in that fucking box or going back to that fucking place," I said.
"Freudian slip?" she asked, causing my kids to look at her again. They'd assumed that a woman who looked like her would probably be stupid. So even knowing a term like, "Freudian slip," let alone using it casually and in the right context, meant that they'd have to re-evaluate her and her position in my life yet again.
"Look," she said, kneeling next to me regardless of what it looked like. "You're just skittish because for the past three weeks, while you've been in the nursing home, you haven't been getting any sex in any way, shape or form..."
Both of my sons' mouths dropped open and I thought my daughter would have a heart attack right then.
"To tell you the truth..." she continued. "I've been getting a little antsy myself. But your doctor says you can come home tomorrow. So I guess it really doesn't matter if we go there now. It has to be tomorrow already somewhere in the world."
I smiled and nodded. I could tell my kids were even more shocked at her line about being a little antsy herself.
"As for the second part," she continued. "You're still going to have to ride in that box to get there. You can't bend your leg at all for another three weeks at least. So there's no way we can get you into the Mustang and even if we could get you into it, I can't drive a stick. And you can't either with your right leg broken."
"Good," I snapped. "I can make sure that all of the lovers you snuck into my house while I was at the "retardiment" home didn't steal my stuff or damage anything." She looked really smug about that.
"Don't worry," she said. "I made sure to clean up after them and wash all of your clothes that I let them wear after they did me." The kids probably didn't notice it, but Darla was hiding something. We'd have to talk later.
"So which one of the nurses at the home will be my replacement?" she asked. "Which one of those old biddies was giving you the blow jobs under the table when I left every day?"
"Why do you want to know?" I asked. That was as far as the conversation got before Michael, ever the voice of reason and squeamishness interrupted.
"Uhm, Dad," we'd like to talk to you some," he asked. "Would it be possible for us to come home with you and talk for a while?"
"I guess..." I said.
"Uhm, Mike, please keep me in the loop, if you can?" said Conrad, turning to go.
"Rad, where are you going?" I asked. "Aren't you coming too?"
"I didn't..." he hesitated. "I didn't think you'd want me to come. I thought maybe this was some kind of family thing. And with Mom gone...I'm not..."
"Conrad, you are, were and always will be just as much my offspring as Michael or Jessica. I love you just as much as I do them. You are my son. Nothing in this world can ever say anything different."
Conrad had tears in his eyes as he looked at me. "How about that DNA test that you took to court," he said.
"Well, yeah there's that," I said laughing. "But there are things we need to talk about and you should be there too. Shit, I'm fifty nine years old and if anything, this has proven to me that I won't live forever. I'd like to have my family around me in my golden years. So let's all sit down together and have a meal and a few drinks and talk about the past, the present and the future, with open minds and no pre-judgments left over from by-gone days."
"I wish Mom could have lived to see this," said Jessica. I couldn't help it. I let out a snarky laugh.
"But Dad," she said, looking at me strangely after my laugh. "You were there with her in the end. And you said such nice things to her. My heart melted." I chortled and Darla smiled at them and told them they could follow us to our house.
Darla had called our favorite restaurant before the funeral and arranged for a meal to be catered. She quickly set the table as the kids and I made small talk.
I noticed that on one of her trips back and forth between the dining area and the kitchen, Michael went after her. He came back a few moments later with a big smile on his face and declared, "I guess she doesn't want any help."
He shrugged his shoulders and looked at me. "Dad, would you really short her check if someone helped her?" he asked. "That's kind of cold, isn't it?"
"Michael, how much money do you earn?" I asked, pretending I didn't already know about Michael's salary, his failing marriage or his gambling problem.
"I make almost fifty, Dad," he said warily. I nodded. Michael had been fairly truthful if you considered thirty thousand to be almost fifty thousand.
"She makes a lot more than you do, son," I said. "And it really isn't me. She lied to you to cover up the fact that she just doesn't like people in the kitchen. It's kind of like me and the garage. I'm her boss and even I can't go in there without her throwing some kind of fit."
He stared at me. "She keeps that place as clean and spotless as if she did surgery in there instead of just cooking."
Darla returned then. Her eyes scanned me instantly upon stepping through the door. Once she'd made sure that there were no differences in me since she'd last seen me, she set two plates down in front of Jessica and Michael. She immediately headed back into her kitchen and returned almost immediately with plates for Conrad and herself. Her last trip was for a bottle of wine and my plate.
I noticed that Michael and Jessica seemed to be fascinated with Darla. Most people always seemed to stare at her. Darla is tall and very blond. Her hair is nearly white. She has huge boobs, thick, sculptured legs and a big round booty that just cried out for attention.
My son Michael seemed to be flabbergasted by Darla, but Jessica's interest left me wondering. Then I noticed them. Seven years ago at twenty seven years old, my daughter had been tit-less. She'd been as flat as a board, but now seemed to have sprouted a really cute set of average sized breasts. My daughter had gotten herself a boob job.
I smiled and looked around the table. With her usual flair, Darla had arranged and reheated the food so it looked like she had cooked it. And given time she could have. Darla and my children all had steak, vegetable and mashed potatoes.
I looked at them and my mouth watered. Then I looked at my plate. It had grilled salmon and steamed vegetables. I looked at her for an explanation.
"You need to eat healthier and lighter on the calories until you're back on your feet. I'm not going to have you turning into a butter ball," she said.
As I started to protest, she grabbed my lips with her fingers and shushed me. "Bobby, you heard me," she said. My kids all started to eat and pretended they hadn't seen what had happened.
After we'd eaten, Darla rolled me into the living room. She moved me from the chair to the sofa and covered me with a warm soft blanket. She handed Conrad the fireplace matches and he started to the fire. She moved a loveseat and a fat overstuffed chair near the sofa.
As the flames began to lick at the fireplace logs, Darla came and sat on the sofa at my side. I put the blanket around her as gently as she'd wrapped it around me. Her smile outshone the flames and wasn't lost on any of my kids.
Michael started. "So what's going on with the two of you?" he asked.
"We have an arrangement," I said.
"It's purely financial," said Darla. The three of them looked at each other.
"Daddy, why don't you have a TV?" asked Jessica. "You have this huge beautiful living room, without a TV. It makes no sense."
"When we stay here, we use the living room for sitting by the fire and talking or reading," said Darla. "Sometimes we just sit and watch the flames without ever saying a word. Most of the time we end up..."
"There's a 52 inch OLED 3-D set in the bedroom," I said.
"How did you end up being at Mom's side when she died?" asked Conrad.
"I know that all of you have questions," I said. "And there's a lot of this story that Darla doesn't know. So I'm going to start at the beginning. In order for us to see if we can move on as a family it's important for us to all know where we came from."
"I'm going to skip through the beginning stuff pretty quickly so we can concentrate on the events that led to our family being shattered. So if there's anything you need to know about and I'm not mentioning it, please stop me and ask. I intend to be very honest with you and I won't hold anything back so be prepared for it."
"To start out, I have to tell you that your mother and I were wimps...." I began.
"No Dad," said Michael. "When you found out what she..."
"Michael, I'm not talking about that kind of wimp," I said. "What I meant was that both your mother and I were overly shy. We liked each other from the first moment we laid eyes on each other, but we didn't do anything about until years later and even then it was by accident. We went to the same high school and every time I saw her, I just stared at her with my mouth open. My friends often caught me and urged me to talk to her but I couldn't. So..."
"Dad, Mom told me that no one liked her in high school," said Jessica. "She always thought it was because she didn't have any boobs. She liked you in high school too, but you were always hanging out with the guys on the team."
"Jess, Honey, can I tell the story?" I asked.
"Anyway..." I continued. "It wasn't until our second year in college when we were both about to turn twenty that fate intervened. "
"I was walking down the hall towards class and your mom was walking in the opposite direction. She wasn't paying attention to where she walked because she was upset and she crashed into me."
"When our eyes met, there was no going back. It took me a few moments because she was so damned beautiful, but I finally asked her why she was crying. She told me a couple of assholes in her class had been making fun of her. I couldn't figure out why anyone would want to make fun of her, but I was instantly pissed."
"Where are they?" I asked her.
"She grabbed my arm and pointed back the way she'd come from. I stormed off in that direction while she trailed after me. When I got to the guys she was talking about, I erupted."
"Why the fuck are you two assholes picking on my girl?" I screamed. "The two of them were just your typical slackers, so they weren't ready for any type of serious threat. They immediately started backing up and apologizing. Finally, they turned tail and just ran while I stood there with both fists balled up; breathing like I'd just ran a marathon."
"That was how we got together and we never looked back," I said.
"Mom always told me she'd have gone through it all over again just to hear you call her your girl," Jessica laughed. "She said it was the best day of her life. She never had any idea that you were interested in her."
"See what I mean about wimps," I said.
"Daddy, why didn't you ever tell her that you liked her before that or even try to talk to her," asked Michael.
"Because Mike, when I really like someone I get all tongue tied until I get to know them. And even after I get to know them there are some things I'm just uncomfortable sharing. Anyway...Your mom and I dated and ended up getting married. It came as no surprise to anyone because you never saw one of us without the other. Your mom was going to school for home economics, which was pretty common in those days. I was going to become an architect. Neither of us ever finished."
"Why not?" asked Mike. "You expected all of us...no, Dad, you demanded, that we all finish college. Why didn't you finish?"
"You," I said. "Within a year of meeting your mother, we were married. I'd have married her anyway, but within six months of us meeting, she was pregnant with you Mike. I had to make a living for the two of you so I got a job. Since I was doing great as an architectural student, it seemed only natural that I'd go to work for a builder. Life took over and after ten years of being married, I ended up going into the building business myself. I started out doing small projects, like cabins, while I still worked for my former boss. I concentrated on maximizing the quality of each structure. After a while, I was getting calls for larger ones. Before I knew it, there was a conflict between my day job and my own projects. I rolled the dice and went out on my own. The first couple of years were not easy, especially since we had three small kids to bring up during that time, but we made it and we made sure that no matter what happened the three of you grew up loved and wanted for nothing."
"We did have a great childhood," said Conrad.
"We had so many dreams, Kathy and I," I continued. "I loved her more than anything on earth. She was my partner, my best friend, the love of my life and my soul mate all rolled into one. Maybe she didn't have the most incredible body on earth, but her smile could light up a room like you wouldn't believe. She was one of a kind and I accepted her quirks because I loved her so much. We didn't get married in a church. We got married in the middle of the woods with flowers all around us and a lot of our friends gathered with us. Our wedding night was really special too, or at least I thought it was at the time."
"We rolled through life together sharing all of the good times and all of the bad and I'll tell you the good ones by far outnumbered the bad. I was just stupid. I gave that woman, my heart, my mind, my trust and all of my faith...Never again. I had no fucking clue. Anyway...we raised the three of you and got you all through school. Michael, you got married and had a great job. Jess, you were about to get married and Conrad worked in the family business with me."
"Mike, you were the son every guy always wanted. You made your own way or tried to. I never minded helping you out on occasion when necessary. Jessica, you were my little princess. Rad, you were an asshole. You showed up late for work more often than you were on time and you criticized and countermanded every decision I made. I just didn't understand why then. Since then I've realized that middle children tend to act out because they're usually ignored. The oldest kids and the babies always seem to get all of the attention."
"So, there I was, married for just over thirty years with the world in my pocket. I was giving serious thought to retiring at fifty two and spending the rest of my life just traveling and having fun with my wife. The biggest concerns I had were in deciding what to do about my business. I wanted to keep it in the family, both as a legacy and as a source of continuing income. Our reputation for quality work was beginning to bear more and more fruit. I was sure that I couldn't just turn things over to Conrad and I didn't want to try to put pressure on Mike to take over. Mike didn't know the building game. Jessica's husband also didn't seem like the kind of guy I could hand the keys to. But a few months after our thirtieth anniversary, the decision was taken out of my hands."
"Your mother and I weren't really religious people. I knew that she didn't consider herself a Christian, but I thought it was something like maybe she was just a different sect. You know, the way the Baptists and the Lutherans and the Mormons try to say that they're totally different from the Catholics? But I'd never really sat down and discussed religion with her once in all of those years. It's probably because...Well religion isn't really important to me at all. I never even give it a thought. To me Sundays are the days I do my longer runs if I'm doing a marathon that year and the day I watch football and wash my Mustang. Church just never enters my mind."
"The only time during thirty years of marriage that your mother and I are ever separated is the yearly religious retreat that she goes to with her parents. Your Aunt Rose always goes to it too, and you even started going when you were about twenty Conrad. You never said a word to me about it son. And I guess that's why what happened between us, did."
"Anyway...just after our thirtieth anniversary, your mom told me about the conference. I never gave it a second thought. After all, she'd done it every year since before we were married. There were some years that I had I to use our SUV to drive all of you guys to the airport and then pick you up three days later, but other than that it wasn't a factor. I'm not stupid, but your mom cheating on me simply never entered my mind. We loved each other so much. Our sex life was perfect, even after thirty years we couldn't keep our hands off of each other and with you guys out of the house we'd started experimenting even more."
"There was no thought in my mind that anything was going on. And if I had even dreamed that there was, I'd never have expected it to happen in a place that her parents, her sister and our son went to with her. The retreat or conference was usually held in Las Vegas, so that year I decided that I'd surprise your mom and meet her there. There was also a huge home builder's conference there at the same time. So I checked her reservations to make sure that I'd be able to find her."
"Your mom and your grandparents left the day before I did. When I got to Vegas, I checked in and found out that the hotel she stayed in was right down the street from where I was staying. I had visions of taking my wife out for a ritzy Las Vegas evening and then retiring to one of our hotels."
"I went to her hotel and found out that the conference was some kind of Pagan retreat. I had no idea what a fucking Pagan was, let alone that your mother was one of them. I couldn't even get into the conference because I wasn't a Pagan myself. Luckily I had a friend who worked for hotel security and he got me in. "
"As the big door closed behind me, I was sure that I was in the wrong place. The huge conference suite was dimly lit and it smelled like sex. I was sure that I was in the wrong place. Then I noticed that all over the room there were couples in acts of copulation. I also noticed other people running around naked eating or drinking. I was even more certain that I was in the wrong place until I spotted your Aunt Rose. Rose had her head buried between some older woman's thighs and was oblivious to everything going on around her. Rose was making all kinds of slurping sounds and trying to get face as far into the woman's crotch as she could. I wondered what her husband would think and then it hit me. I pulled out my phone and took a picture. The flash startled her and she looked up and saw me with horror written all over her face."
"Seeing Rose had lit a fire in my mind and from then on, I was on a mission. I walked around the place as if I owned it until I found Kathy, the woman I'd loved and been married to for just over thirty years."
"It wasn't hard to find her. I simply looked around the room until I found a tall skinny woman with an incredible ass and no chest. She was in a pile with two or three men and so into what she was doing that she never knew I was there. She was giving one guy a hand job and she very gently moved her hand up and down on his dick as he pumped his hips. He had both of his hands locked on his balding head and the biggest smile on his face. I wanted to shoot that fucker before he got a chance to shoot off."
"Another guy was jacking off while he watched Kathy's ass cheeks clench and unclench. As I watched, he ejaculated all over my wife's back and shoulders, giving out a huge roar as he did. The third guy was the one I wanted to kill the most. He was pumping his dick in and out of my wife's pussy, doggy style and there was no question that she was fucking him back. He was slapping her ass like he owned it each time she slammed it into his abdomen. Kathy just had a blank look on her face. It was as if she did this every day and there was nothing unusual about it. I did notice that her nipples weren't extended, but that was probably because none of the guys there were playing with them yet."
"Once I saw her, I shot off a few moments of video tape on my phone. It wasn't high def video like we shoot on our phones now, but it was good enough to take to court. I slowly rotated and filmed the entire room and then I headed for the door."
"The only person, who tried to stop me, was of course..."
"Me," said Conrad. "But Dad, I saw the hurt in your eyes and I needed to try to explain to you what was going on. I knew that you'd jump to the wrong conclusion and do exactly what you did. I figured there was some way that I could explain to you that for a lot of the people there; this was the way they practiced their religion. The Pagan rituals had been practiced that way for thousands of years. It predated Christianity. I had to try for the sake of our family."
"For a lot of the guys I spoke to later, it wasn't about religion," I spat. "It was just about sex. In fact, they became Pagans for the free and easy pussy. Some of them said it was way easier and much cheaper than finding hookers."
"So when I saw Conrad," I continued. "I was already pissed. Him, trying to tell me not to go was like waving a red flag in front of a bull. Rad decided then that he was going to make me listen to reason, so he tried to prevent me from leaving. I very gently propelled him towards a place where he could continue to practice his religion."
"He shrugged off my arm and threw me across the floor into a group of people," said Conrad. "Even seven years ago at fifty he was strong as hell."
"He's still strong as hell now," smiled Darla. "We probably wouldn't have even been in the nursing home to run into your mom, if he hadn't broken his leg skiing."
"Conrad was, of course, so intent on explaining his religion to me that he didn't notice how badly I was hurt. I never even went back. I checked out of my hotel then. I paid the full weekend rate and flew home that evening. It took less than fifteen minutes for Conrad to find your mother. I knew that because she started trying to call me then. By that time, I'd already gotten back to my hotel and checked out. I went up to the room, got my bags and hit the airport. I didn't want to wait for the next day to leave like you guys had to, so I found another passenger at the airport and changed tickets with him. It cost me a thousand dollars. He was happy to do it because it gave him another day in Vegas and a grand of my money to gamble with."
"That was why Granddad couldn't find you the next morning at the airport," said Conrad. "When you wouldn't answer your phone, he checked on your hotel and plane reservations. We went to your hotel but they wouldn't give us any info. This was before 911 when anyone could get info on their family members. The airline just told him that you'd be flying out that next morning so he went to the airport and sat there in the lounge waiting for you to show up. Mom sat in the room and cried the whole time."
"Yeah, I guess we all did a lot of crying," I said. "I flew home and immediately contacted my lawyer. I canceled all of our joint credit cards including the ones your mother had with her. I also canceled the cell phone accounts for your phone and hers. The three of us were on a family plan. I just removed you two from the plan. It didn't help. She called me from payphones or other people's cell phones until she got her own."
"Dad it was awful," said Conrad. "She didn't eat. She didn't sleep. She just kept trying to call you and crying. Unlike you, the airport was so busy from all of the people flying in and out, that we couldn't get a flight out. We had to stay there the whole time."
"You should have just gone back and enjoyed your conference for a couple of more days," I said.
"I did," said Conrad sheepishly. "Mom didn't, neither did Grandma or Granddad. Aunt Rose was so afraid that you'd tell Uncle Derek that she stayed with them. Uncle Derek, unlike you, had some idea of what went on but I don't think he knew what Aunt Rose did. I think he thought that when they got married she'd just attended for the rituals and didn't really participate in the...uhm...sex part."
"Granddad assured Mom and Aunt Rose that he'd have a talk with you and straighten everything out. You guys got along pretty well. And I think he thought that he could convince you that everything was alright. Everyone knew how much you loved Mom. I mean it wasn't like you guys were newlyweds; you guys had been together for thirty years and had grown kids. Dad you were fifty two years old and had married Mom when you were twenty two. You had been with her for most of the years that you'd been alive and vice versa. The thought of either of you with anyone else was just silly. The thought of the two of you without each other was equally silly. Even Mom was sure of it. She just kept crying and crying and everyone there knew that there was nothing she wouldn't have done or changed to get you back. Dad, you were everything to her."
"And she'd been everything to me," I said. "But the pain and betrayal I felt scorched my soul. You've talked about how much your mother and I loved each other...I don't think you can imagine how much it hurt me to see her that way. Nothing mattered anymore. It destroyed any link I had with sanity. I just had to keep moving to get through it. For the first few days the only thing I felt was pain."
"So why couldn't you at least talk to mom?" asked Michael. "From what I've been told you never even gave her a chance to explain. The two of you never sat down and talked about it. If you loved her that much..."
"Mike, your mom was the most important part of my life," I answered. "But as close as we were, she wasn't a part of me. It's like a person with a knife collection. You love those knives to the point of worship. Then one day you slip, and one of the knives goes through your hand. This thing that you love and cherish has hurt you. You pull that knife out and get it away from you. You don't care that your blood will probably damage the knife; you just want it out of you. And when you pull it out and get it away from you the real pain starts."
"I wished with all of my heart that it had never happened," I said. "But once it had, there was simply no going back. I'd married a woman that I loved and had been faithful to, not some Pagan who needed to be a slut every year."
"Conrad, how many women did you usually screw at those conferences? You're an attractive guy, so maybe three or four a night if you could get it up. So you had somewhere between nine and twelve per year. A woman on the other hand...I saw your mother linked up with three men. She could probably screw as many men in a night or more than you'd do the whole weekend. Let's be conservative and say she did maybe forty guys each year. Over our thirty plus years together that meant my loving wife had cheated on me over a thousand times."
"But Dad, it wasn't really cheating," he said.
"That's what your grandpa tried to tell me. He failed too," I said. "Anyway, by the time you guys got back to town, I'd already gotten a lawyer. I'd spent the day before you got home changing the bank accounts, getting my lawyer and removing all of my personal things from the house. I was sure that the house would be sold during the divorce. I had no intention of ever going back there. I never expected her to get back as quickly as she did. I'd rented a condo across town from us and that morning I remembered that I'd taken my car out of the garage but I'd left a couple of tool boxes and my fishing gear. I hadn't really gone through the garage at all. So I headed over there first thing in the morning. I didn't expect her plane to land until afternoon and I knew I had a good cushion because I wasn't going to pick those assholes up at the airport so they'd had to arrange their own transport to their homes."
"I also expected Kathy to stay with her parents while we worked things out. But it didn't go that way. First, I overslept that morning. Then I ran over there and my Mustang really isn't a great car for hauling things. I couldn't even fit either of the small tool boxes in that trunk. So I'd had to take only the tools that were so essential that I didn't want to lose them. I could only fit lures and hooks and other small items of my fishing gear in the car also. I'd been thinking about tying a couple of my favorite rods to the top of the car when I saw them pull up. I closed the garage and jumped into my car and started down the driveway. Your mom got out of the car and stood in front of mine. If it hadn't been for my performance brakes, I'd probably have run her down."
She tried to get me to talk to her and I refused, so she just stood in front of the car thinking that eventually I'd give up. The whole time, your Granddad and your Aunt Rose were babbling at me to be reasonable. I locked my doors and let all of the windows up. I gunned my engine like I was going to move the car. Your mom was so sure that I'd never hurt her that she didn't even blink. So I just shut the motor down and sat back in the car to wait her out. She kept talking but I couldn't hear her over the radio. She laid down on my hood and put her face up to the windshield and kept talking. I pulled out my phone and called the police."
"When the police pulled up, your granddad thought he could bullshit them. He told them that it was a family squabble and we could work it out on our own. I let my window down and yelled to them that I was the one who'd called them. They immediately came over to the car and I got out. I explained to them that I was moving out of the house and they were preventing me from leaving. I was legally able to live wherever I wanted and I didn't want to live in that house for one second longer."
"The officer explained to your grandpa that preventing me from leaving could be considered unlawful imprisonment or kidnapping. Your grandpa was slick. He asked them if desertion was okay, because I was deserting my wife and kids. The police turned to me. I asked your grandpa if he really wanted to play that kind of game?
He didn't say anything so I explained to the police that it wasn't desertion because all of our kids were not only grown, but out of the house. Both of us were in our fifties and I'd recently discovered that my wife had cheated on me for over thirty years. I also explained to them that her father had been a part of it. I told them that if they needed to see it, I had video and photos as proof and that I'd be using them in the divorce."
"As soon as the word divorce left my mouth everything got quiet. From what I saw your mother fainted. Your grandmother and granddad took care of her, while your Aunt Rose started begging me to leave her out of it. The cop signaled for me to use that time to get out, so I did."
"From what I later learned, your mom went into the hospital for a few days and then went to stay with her parents. I went into work the next day and started to work with my accountant to put all of the books in order and to make sure everything was on schedule and operating perfectly. From conversations with my lawyer, I knew that I wouldn't be able to keep my business AND cut ties with your mother. And that was what I really needed. I didn't want to have to pay her any alimony because that would give her a reason to or a way to contact me. I'd have to give her a phone number or an address or even a lawyer to talk to in the event that something changed and I didn't want that. I wanted to walk out of the courtroom on the final day of our divorce and never have to lay eyes on her again."
"My lawyer had, of course, heard the entire story of what happened. He told me that even if I could manage to separate myself from her financially, there would always be you three to consider. You'd all get married if you weren't already and you'd have kids and there'd be all kinds of family events where I'd run into Kathy. I told him to draw up the papers anyway."
"When I got back to work that day from meeting with my lawyer at lunch, Conrad, the gem of an idea was already in my mind. You nursed it along by coming in and as usual, giving me your opinion on what a coward I was. You railed on me for being too cowardly to even listen to what your mother had to say. You went on and on about how I didn't understand any of it. Son, it was the wrong thing to do at the wrong time. So I fired you and had security escort you out of the building. I can still see the hurt look on your face, but things were going to get worse for you. In my mind you had simply ramped up your betrayal even further. You painted a target on your own back."
"It didn't take long after that for your grandpa to show up. He told me about your mother having a hysterical nervous breakdown. I told him that she'd still be covered under our company's health plan until the divorce was final. That was the first time I remember seeing that man cry. He told me that I was making the biggest mistake of my life. I told him his daughter had already made hers. He started giving me all of this quasi-religious shit and facts and the history of Paganism and I asked him what it had to do with us. He told me that this country was founded on religious freedom. I countered with the marriage vows. He then reminded me of the ceremony we'd done. Our whole marriage ceremony had been based on Pagan ceremony and we had never vowed to hold ourselves only unto each other. I was stunned because he was right."
"He tried to score more points by reminding me that Kathy had been participating in her religion since before we got together. She had done it since she was eighteen years old and over the age of consent. Her deflowering had been the highlight of one of their ceremonies and it had been a beautiful thing. He also told me that his daughter loved me. There was absolutely no doubt in his mind that she loved me more than anything or any person on earth including him and her religion. For more than thirty years she had been a good and faithful wife to me three hundred and sixty two days of the year; for that alone, she deserved for us to talk about what was going on. I agreed."
"You could see the relief pouring off of him when I said it."
"I'll bring her home tonight at about six, will that do?" he asked. I just nodded.
"I'll meet you there," I said.
"Aren't you living there?" he asked.
"No, we're probably going to sell the house," I said. "And even if Kathy wants to pay me to keep it. I'm not willing to change the settlement much more so she can have it."
"You're making up your mind pretty early aren't you?" he asked.
"See you at six," I said. "If you're driving her you should wait for her. I don't think it will take more than an hour." He just smiled.
"You don't know my daughter," he said.
"I've been married to her for thirty years," I said. "And I just found out that I don't. But then none of you know me either."
"Six o' clock arrived and found me pulling up the driveway of a house I'd lived in and loved for almost twenty years. It hadn't been our first house together. But it was the most special. This was our dream house. It was the one we were going to grow old together in. After I shut off the Mustang, I walked up to the door and knocked on it."
"Kathy immediately came to the door. She was wearing a thin t-shirt and jeans. Her dad waved from the sofa and asked if it was okay if he stayed. Kathy told him to go get some coffee and she'd call him. I told him to stay just in case and we'd go out on the deck."
"Rob, I'm so sorry," she said and immediately started crying. Though it tore my heart in two I didn't reach for her."
"After a few moments, she looked up at me and stuck her arms out for a hug. I backed away and she looked as if someone had kicked her in the stomach."
"Even after we started to talk, she constantly reached for me. I realized it was a habit on her part. For over thirty years we'd been almost a part of each other. It took a lot to change that. On my part, I'd had enough of a betrayal where I just wanted it over."
"Rob, I love you," she said. "There's never been anyone except you..." she started.
"Kathy, I came here to listen to what you had to say and try to work things out between us," I snapped, "so don't start out by lying. I was there. I saw you. And your own father explained that you've done this all your life. So even if those were the only three guys you've had this year, you've cheated on me at least 90 times. That doesn't sound like love to me."
"What do you want Rob," she asked. "What do I have to do to make this right? I'll do anything. I don't want us to be apart. We never have been. Our life has been perfect since the day we met."
"I really thought so too," I said.
"Tears rolled down my cheeks and she reached out to hug me. The pain I was feeling overwhelmed me and I let her. Kathy doesn't have anything on her chest, it's very flat. But her nipples stand up like erasers when she's aroused. As my arms went around her, I could feel those hard little points digging into my chest. I loved Kathy's ass. And she knew it. It was so round and full that it almost didn't belong on a woman that thin. As she gently pulled my hands down until they were resting on her ass cheeks I felt like I was home again. Then suddenly I saw her with those men again and I pushed her away from me. Perhaps a little harder than I meant to."
"That will NEVER happen again," I spat. "I hope you can find another Pagan convention before next year in Las Vegas. Maybe you'll find a Pagan church where you can go and fuck a bunch of guys every week."
"So you're saying that for the rest of our lives we aren't going to have sex anymore," she said sadly.
"No Kathy," I said. "I'm sure you're going to have lots of sex with lots of guys. I just won't be one of them. And whomever I have sex with is no longer your business." The hurt in her eyes was painful for me too.
"Rob, that isn't a fair punishment," she said. "I've already told both my dad and the priestess that I'm quitting. This was unfair to you. I really should have told you before we got married. I also thought about quitting before but it's something I've done all of my life. We have a wonderful marriage Rob. We don't need to let this turn us into one of those old couples who, because of circumstances, don't have sex with each other." I just laughed because I knew what she was talking about.
"We have our differences Rob," she said. "But we love each other more than anyone else I know. So I'm a Pagan. You have your quirks too. What is it with you and Mustangs? You've never wanted any other kind of car. I don't like them. They're too loud. They're too small inside and everyone you see on the street wants to race. If you even get a scratch on that car you're whining like a little baby. But I put up with it because it's you, Honey. And you're the man I love. You're all mine."
"Too bad I can't say the same," I said. "Over the years, I thought that you were all mine too. But now I'm only beginning to calculate how many times you've cheated on me. Kathy, our whole marriage has been a lie. Our whole relationship has. When you think back, you see things we did together and memories. I no longer have that. Now all I wonder about is how many guys you fucked that year. I have nothing to hold onto anymore. None of it is true."
"Rob, you're out of your fucking mind," she screamed. "Every bit of it is true. We're perfect together. Do you remember the things that some of our friends went through. All of your friends reached a point where they stopped having sex with their wives or where their wives cheated on them. Did you ever have to beg me for sex Rob? Even when I was pregnant, I wanted to be with you as much as you wanted me. Any and everything you wanted to try I was okay with."
"Probably because you'd already done those things with someone else," I quipped. Her whole face turned red and I thought she was about to explode.
"You're a fucking liar," she spat. "I have never done anything sexually with anyone before I did it with you. And everything I do sexually is soooo much better with you Rob. Tell me something, what did you see? Tell me about this image of me with the other guys. Were my eyes lit up, the way they always are whenever you're around? I'll bet they weren't, were they? That's because it was just a part of the God damned ceremony Rob. It wasn't making love like we do. There were no souls meeting, it was just people doing a part of their religious ceremony. You always talk about my nipples Rob and how you love licking them. Did you see anyone licking my nipples? You didn't Rob, because I don't allow that. My flat little titties are yours alone. I'd be willing to bet that my nipples weren't even aroused because they only get that way when you're around. Did you see me giving anyone a blow job Rob? If you say you did, you're a liar. The only dick that's ever been in my mouth is yours. And you love squeezing my big puffy ass don't you? Well, you're the only person who's ever had anal sex with me in my life. There's something else you should know Rob," she said. "I never have sex with any man at the conference more than once. There are no repeats that might tempt them to think that there is anything going on between me and any of them. Whether you believe it or not, you're the only man I love and you always will be."
"So you claim," I spat right back at her. "If I couldn't believe you about you cheating on me for the past thirty years, why should I believe anything else you say? Do you realize that our entire history together no longer counts, Kathy? I have nothing to believe in anymore."
"Rob, you do," she said. "I love you. I've always loved you. You can believe in that."
"So you say," I told her. "Did you ever think about how badly I'd be hurt if I found out about what you do?"
"Honestly, Honey," she said. "I never thought about it."
"Then you didn't love me, Kathy," I said. "Because every time I went out of town and some woman or some hooker hinted at sex, I saw you in my mind and I saw how hurt you'd be and that was enough to assure that I would never, ever cheat on you. I LOVED you too much for that."
"That brought another round of tears and me trying to avoid her. I really think that your mother thought that she could come over to the house in her t-shit and tight jeans and we'd just fuck our problems away. That was why she didn't want your grandpa to stay. She ended up with her feelings hurt."
"Okay Rob, if you want us to have a sexless marriage, I have to agree to it. But I've already agreed to give up Paganism. My hope is that eventually you'll come to your senses and we can get back to showing each other our love," she said. "This isn't what I want but I'll agree to it." She shook out her hand to shake.
"Kathy, that isn't what I want at all and you know it," I said. "You heard what I told the cops. We're getting a divorce. The things we have to work out are..." Even as I said it, Kathy collapsed to the deck. Her entire face got pale.
"Should I call your dad?" I asked. She held up her hand and shook her head.
"Rob we've been married for over thirty years," she said. Her voice was choking up and the tears were flowing."
"What I did at the conferences was religion. It was only sex. There was no love involved. I don't remember a single one of those men from even this year, let alone the past thirty. It was only physical sex. I can't believe you even want to compare what went on there with what we do. Didn't you see it? Those guys don't remember me either. It's like when you're square dancing and you change partners. By the end of the night, everyone has danced with everyone else. None of it matters when you end up spending your life with your dream man and he's the one you dance with all of the time. When you and I make love...It's something special, Rob. That's why at fifty fucking years old we're still doing it. Every time you look at me, my nipples get hard and I want you in me. It is not because I'm hyped up at a ritual. It's because I love you and I want us to be one. I do not even want to think about us not being together. What will we tell the kids?" she asked.
For a few moments I didn't say anything. And then it just popped out.
"How do I even know that your kids are mine?" I asked.
"She started crying even louder and her dad came out onto the deck. He looked at me sadly."
"You two don't seem to be making much progress," he said. "Maybe you need a third party to help you over some of the rough areas."
"There are no rough areas," I said. "Just fundamental differences."
"Rob, she agreed to give up her religion for you. Doesn't that show you that she's serious? I don't think she should have to go that far but she loves you." I laughed.
"What's your suggestion Phil?" I asked.
"I thought that you should join us," he said.
"Phil, I'm just not the kind of sharing guy who can watch a bunch of other guys fuck his wife under the guise of religion or any other way. I love her too much for that."
"You wouldn't be watching," he said. "You'd be out there enjoying..."
"Phil, for the past thirty years, I've been in love with one woman. I have never needed another woman. I haven't even been tempted. My problem is that I was stupid enough to think she felt the same way."
"She does, Rob," he said. "Just the thought that you were angry at her caused her to have a nervous breakdown. What do you want? It's over and done with. You won. She's out of it."
"He wants a divorce, Daddy," she said.
"Isn't that a little extreme?" he asked. "You're going to throw away thirty years over...Do you know how rare it is for two people to be together for that long? Are you crazy?"
"He just asked me how he can be sure that the kids are his?" she said.
"He looked at me even more strangely."
"Legally in a lot of states the children are considered the offspring of the husband if they were produced during the marriage, no matter what," he said.
"Our state isn't one of those," I said. "And you saying that just told me all I needed to know."
"What do you mean, Son?" he asked.
"Phil, you saying that and knowing all of that legal bullshit means you've come across it in your days of whoring with the Pagans. There are probably all kinds of shit like that going on aren't there?" I asked. "And you need to get used to not calling me, Son. It won't be true for much longer."
"This has taken far longer than I thought it would. I'm trying to be fair. I'd like a fifty/fifty split straight down the middle. We'll file under the no fault law, so no reason is necessary. We'll sell the house and split that down the middle. I'll sell my business and we'll split that down the middle too."
"Both Phil and Kathy gasped at that."
"Why would you sell your business?" asked Kathy. "You've built it up and put your blood, sweat and tears into it for over twenty years. "
"Because if I had the business I'd have to give you a cut of the profits for the rest of our lives or pay you alimony," I said.
"Don't you think that's fair?" asked Phil. "You said it yourself; you thought she was a good wife until you found out about her religion. She deserves something for that. You can't expect to leave her penniless."
"I never wanted to," I said. "I'd never hurt Kathy. But I want a fresh new start. I don't want the two of us to be in any kind of contact. I don't want us arguing over late checks. I don't want to drop a check off at her place and run into her and whomever she's fucking to do it. Besides I'll probably move away anyway."
"Kathy started crying again."
"Why don't you let her keep the house and you keep the business?" suggested Phil.
"Because the house isn't worth nearly as much as the business so it wouldn't be a fifty/fifty split. Plus, if she worked through her savings or let her next man spend too much, she could go back to court and amend the settlement. Most judges wouldn't like seeing me with more assets than she'd have, so I'd end up paying her anyway. I'm trying to be fair. We just split everything and walk away. If she fucks up her money it won't be my fault."
"But I thought the business would be a legacy for your kids?" he said.
"He isn't even sure the kids are his," spat Kathy. "He thinks I'm some whore. Rob, you threw in your little jibes about my next man twice and I let you get away with them. There won't be any more men for me, EVER."
"No one said anything so I broke the silence."
"My lawyer has the papers all drawn up," I said. "Maybe you guys could come by tomorrow and sign them. I'm going to take a walk through the house and see if I missed anything that I wanted.
"I'll walk with you," said Kathy. "To make sure you don't take anything we need."
"What do you mean anything WE need?" I asked.
"I'm going to pay for the divorce," she said. "...Out of my fifty percent."
"Since I filed, I have to pay," I said.
"No, I'm going to pay because it isn't going to be the way you want it to," she said. "I'm going to fight this with everything I have. You will not get away from me without knowing exactly how far I was willing to go to keep you. And to start, I want the pictures back."
"What pictures?" I asked.
"When you were here before, you went through all of our photo albums and took a lot of the pictures out. There are no pictures of you left. You were kind enough to leave most of the pictures of just me and a lot of pictures of the kids, but every picture of yourself was removed. And there had to be at least a thousand pictures of you and me together."
"Destroyed," I said. "I burned them that night. It was the first step on the path to erasing thirty years of lies."
"Rob," she asked crying. "How could you do that? Those were our memories. What will we look at when we get old and sit by the fireside? How will we show our grandkids what we looked like?"
"I had no answer. Then it came to me. "Kathy we're only fifty. We have a long time left. I'm sure we'll each find someone and we'll have a lot more memories. You'll have yours with a guy who doesn't mind you fucking other guys. I'll have mine with a woman who's happy just being with me. The sooner we get the divorce started, the sooner we can start on our next thirty years."
"Rob, how many days are there in a year?" she asked.
Three hundred and sixty five days," I said.
"So if I, as you call it, cheated on you for three days a year for thirty years that only adds up to ninety days. So it's not thirty years of lies. It's only ninety days. To put it in perspective, that's thirty years of love; ninety days of lies. And never call it lies again. I have never once lied about loving you."
"Kathy got a lawyer. She got a really good lawyer. At our first meeting, he begged her to take my offer. She demanded a meeting to discuss it. He told her at the meeting that she would never get a better offer. My lawyer told them that if they didn't accept the offer we'd file under adultery and charge everyone at the conference that could be tracked down or identified as accessories and drag them all into court. There would be a lot of people and their careers ruined. And a lot of marriages, including Kathy's sister Rose's would be ruined as well."
"Kathy didn't blink."
"Staying married to you is worth EVERYTHING," she said. "Do it. Burn the fucking world down around us, baby."
"At the same meeting she came up with her next demand. She wanted the pictures returned. When I reiterated that the pictures had been destroyed, she demanded that they be remade. The two of us would have to re-shoot all of the pictures I'd destroyed. We would have to re-pose in our wedding clothes together and re-shoot those. Then we'd have to go together to every vacation spot we'd ever been to and take pictures again. We'd have to recreate ever holiday, birthday and anniversary together until all of the pictures were remade. She claimed that they had lasting sentimental value and she wanted them back. I offered to pay the value of the pictures. She claimed they were worth more dollars than there are grains of sand in the desert. Our lawyers wasted a ridiculous amount of billable hours talking about those fucking pictures so I gave her back half of them. I'd put them away in a safe deposit box anyway."
"She was overjoyed about it until she learned that I could play hardball too. I'd cut each fucking picture in half and gave her back the halves with only her in them. The bitch smiled and told her father that she'd tape them back together as soon as the divorce was over and then have them digitally restored."
"The next day I had lunch with Rose's husband. I showed him the pictures I'd taken in Las Vegas. He was so pissed that we didn't finish lunch. Naturally, Rose was distraught and I was an asshole according to Phil. I'd destroyed Rose's marriage just to help bring about the end of mine. I just smiled. Kathy just shrugged her shoulders and kept trying to talk to me."
"When the priestess of their sect received her papers naming her as an accessory to the destruction of my marriage, Phil came to see me. He told me that I was stepping over the line. He begged me to just keep this between Kathy and me. I told him that there was nothing between Kathy and me anymore and as soon as she signed the papers, it could end."
"While I put my plans into effect, Kathy was busy with plans of her own. She found out where my new condo was. While I was at work trying to show the business to a potential buyer, she moved in. When I'd registered with the condo board they'd taken my driver's license and copied it. We had the same last name and address, so she was let in to drop off a few things while I was at work. When I got home, it was after eleven and I'm over fifty. I just undressed and crawled into bed. I didn't even notice that Kathy was in the apartment. As soon as I was asleep, she joined me in bed. During the night, we ended up spooning together and after thirty years I'd gotten used to waking up with my morning wood nestled in that round ass of hers. I was rubbing her wet pussy and she was moaning in her sleep, when I came to my senses and turned the lights on. She sat up and just smiled at me."
"A few more minutes and you'd have had that dick in me," she smirked. "Why can't your brain realize what our bodies already know? I fucked up. I'm very sorry, Honey. But we love each other and we belong together."
"Get out of my condo," I said calmly.
"Call your lawyer, sweetie," she said sarcastically.
"I will," I said.
"I called him and told him to come over. He told me he'd be there in thirty minutes and he was on the clock. I got ready to take a shower and Kathy stopped me. She told me destroying evidence was illegal. So we just sat on the bed and waited for him. She kept trying to make small talk and telling me how she loved me and missed me, but I refused to partake. Then I noticed it. Kathy was thinner. Not to a ridiculous level but definitely thinner. There was something wrong with her hair too. It seemed lifeless."
"When my lawyer got there, I accused Kathy of breaking into my apartment. I told him he should charge her with trespassing too. And she just sat there and smiled."
"Did you guys have sex?" he asked.
"Hell no," I said. "I wouldn't touch her with someone else's dick."
"Kathy's face fell, then. And she smiled and nodded her head vigorously. She opened her legs and stuck her hand over her pussy so he couldn't see it. I think that he was glad because of two reasons. The first was because he was a young virile guy in his thirties. I don't think he was interested in seeing a fifty year old pussy. And the second because I think he'd gotten the idea of how jealous I got over her."
"With the one hand over her pussy, Kathy pointed her other hand towards a blob of dried up sperm. She also pointed to similar spots on my boxers."
"But we didn't..." I began.
"Nope we didn't, but you wish we had don't you?" she smirked. "I gave him a hand-job because his dick was poking my ass so hard I was afraid it would go in and he'd charge me with rape. That does meet the requirements for a section seven thirteen doesn't it?"
"As I watched my lawyer grudgingly nodded his head."
"What the hell is going on here?" I asked.
"She gets to stay for thirty days," he said. "You're a married couple. You slept in the same bed last night and had sex. The divorce has to be halted and she can stay in your house for at least thirty days. I had a fit. I took a shower and Kathy started making me breakfast."
"The fridge is not that well stocked," she said smiling. "I'm going to have to go shopping. What would you like for dinner?"
"Your absence," I said.
"Kathy had ramped up her attempts to get me back so I had to ramp up mine to get away. There was no way I was going to live with her for thirty days, so I moved back into the house. I also went nuclear in my attack against Kathy."
"That evening her mother and father were named in the divorce along with as many of the people from Las Vegas that we could identify. Things got serious. Paganism as a religion is not big in the US. It's seen as an aberrant sex cult. When I took out a full page ad and several smaller ones across the country, the case began to pick up notoriety. I was interviewed for a couple of newspapers. I also got a chance to go on a national news show."
"Kathy's father and a lot of other people went to her and finally convinced her that too many people were going to be hurt. I think they finally convinced her that no matter what happened, she couldn't force me to stay married to her. It might take a year or more but I'd eventually be free. If she hoped that someday we'd have a chance to get back together, she had to let me go."
"We settled on the fifty/fifty split that I'd originally offered. A lot of guys who'd read about my case and really wanted to see Kathy and all cheaters burned were unhappy. They were stupid. The divorce was only part one of my plan.
"A few days after the divorce papers were signed all of my children got visits from my lawyer and a technician. They were all asked for a cheek swab. The kids were all sure it was only another blow in the war between Kathy and I. Our continuing shenanigans were beginning to get on everyone's nerves."
"We were not allowed to touch our funds from the settlement until the second case was concluded. Kathy called me and asked me what was going on. When she found out that I was trying to find out whether our kids were mine or not, she laughed at me."
"I love you Rob," she said. "You and I both know those kids are yours. You'll only hurt your relationship with them. It won't stop me from loving you or push me any further away from you. It also won't stop me from spending the rest of my life trying to get you back."
"So a month later, when we gathered in my lawyer's office, she was delighted. She even reached out to try to hold my hand. Just before the lawyer got the sealed papers open, she looked at me."
"You really had our kids tested?" she laughed again. "Want to make another one?"
"When my lawyer placed Michael's DNA test on the table and we read the results that proved that Michael was mine with a probability of 99.9999% surety. Kathy laughed.
"Honey, if you want to spend time with me all you have to do is ask," she said patting the top of my hand with hers. "You don't have to go to all of these elaborate lengths, all you have to do is tell me to come and where. I'll be anywhere you are, anytime you want me."
"When the second report and strip also read 99.9999% for Jessica, she laughed even harder."
"All of the laughter stopped when she saw the third strip. Conrad's strip read 0.0001% possible. That meant that there was probably a bigger chance of Conrad being my lawyer's son than mine, even with my lawyer being younger than Rad. Kathy's face fell and she cried harder than I'd ever seen."
"There is no way I'd ever do that to you Rob," she cried. "I never missed my pills."
"Kathy, when Conrad came along he was an accident. And his birthday was roughly nine months from your whoring session wasn't it?" She nodded.
"But he has to be yours," she said.
"I shook my head."
"Maybe that's why you were so eager to have another baby so soon after Rad was born," I said. "Subconsciously you knew what you'd done to me."
"I never wanted anyone's babies but yours," she spat. "If I had any inkling, I'd have taken care of it. Maybe that's why he..." she stopped talking and didn't say anything else.
"So what now Rob?" she asked.
"It's out of my hands," I said. "I'm going to have all of the known members of your sect tested to find out who his father is and I'm going to sue both of you for the cost of bringing up another man's child. "
"But Rob, God dammit he's your son. You've been the only father he's ever had. We'll never find out who his father is." She started crying then. "There were too many men over the years. What have I done?"
"Phil convinced Kathy to settle out of court with me. The Pagan sect would help pay whatever I asked. What I ended up getting was almost twice what Kathy got in our divorce. She ended up living with her parents and I got to keep my business and even to grow it more."
"The first year after the divorce I concentrated on the business. I didn't date at all. I had no interest in meeting anyone. As far as I was concerned, my life was over. But after a year or two the pain calmed down to a dull ache. "
"I dulled the pain even further by concentrating on my car. I went to Mustang shows and events across the country. I met a lot of nice people and even some women but I kept things on a friendly level only."
"It must have been two years before I let a friend arrange a blind date for me. The woman was my age and very well preserved but it simply wouldn't work. Everything about her reminded me of Kathy, even when it didn't. Let me give you an example. The woman I dated was very full-busted..."
"But Dad, Mom is flat chested," said Conrad.
"Exactly," I said. "The woman having breasts reminded me that your mother didn't and how much I loved what she had. I knew then that I'd never stop loving your mother. I had a few more dates but it was always the same. I never once had sex with any of those women. After a while, I just turned to really high class escorts."
"But why?" asked Jessica. "Why not just go back to mom?"
"Trust, Honey," I said. "I loved your mother, but she cheated on me for thirty years and I never had a clue. With the escorts, our arrangements are totally financial. There's no trust involved. I pay for the services rendered. If I'm not satisfied, I get another girl."
"That's sad, Daddy," said Jessica. "What about love?"
"What about it?" I said. "I have the memories of my life all the way up until your mother betrayed me for that."
"What about new love?" she asked.
"Jess, I don't think I could ever love anyone as much as I loved your mother. There's simply no room in my heart for that. Your mother still occupies so much room in my heart even now."
"He even calls me Kathy sometimes when we..." said Darla.
"I do love Darla after a fashion," I interrupted. "She's like another daughter to me. She's the second person I've had this arrangement with. I only keep the arrangements for up to two years with a girl. After that, the danger is that it becomes too much like love to keep it going. In Darla's case, I already love her. So it's time to move on before both of us are hurt and can't go back. Darla will walk away in about a month with enough money to do whatever she wants for the rest of her life. She's also going to help get the next girl ready for me. This way my life will never be boring. The question I have is whether or not the three of you can come back into my life."
"What do you mean Daddy?" asked Jessica. "We've always been in your life."
"Jess, when was the last time I saw you?" I asked her.
"Um..." she had no answer.
"You've been married for four years and I've never met your husband or been to your house," I said. "You were pretty much flat as a board like your mom when I saw you last. I never knew you'd had some um...work done."
"Not as much as some people," she said.
"Jess, Darla is one hundred percent real from head to toe. Trust me, I know," I said.
Darla just smiled.
"The point here is that the three of you simply took your mother's side in the divorce and..." I began.
"We did no such thing," said Michael. "Dad, after the divorce you were very bitter and angry, you didn't have time for anyone or anything. We couldn't get through to you. And after you stopped being angry, which took years, I might add; you wouldn't come to any family event that Mom was invited to."
"Mom on the other hand, was just as bad. She slowly sank into a depression that no one could pull her out of. She moved in with Grandma and Gramps. She didn't date, she barely spoke and every time we saw her, the first thing she wanted to know was whether or not we'd seen you. Grandma had to sometimes make her eat, Dad. She stopped taking care of herself. Grandma and Grandpa died last year and Mom just started to waste away again. Grandpa spent a lot of his last days cursing you because you pretty much destroyed the Pagans. There were no more big rituals after your articles in the newspapers and you bringing what they were doing to light.
We finally had to put Mom in the home where she'd be looked at around the clock. Every time we did see you, you had some hot chick on your arm. Until today, we never thought you were suffering."
"Why should I suffer?" I asked. "In case you forgot, I was the one who was faithful. I busted my ass for thirty years taking care of a woman who cheated on me more times than I can count and..."
"Then why do you get that pathetic sound in your voice every time you talk about her?" asked Jessica.
"Let's talk about something else?" I said.
"During the divorce, you and Michael were pretty much kept out of things," I said. "Conrad betrayed me more than anyone. As my son, he should have told me. He was twenty eight when the divorce happened. He'd been going to those things for almost ten fucking years and never said a word. Plus he was a wise ass so he ended up getting his wise ass busted."
"But I felt closer to Mom because I sensed down deep that I wasn't your son," he said.
"See how stupid he is Darla," I said.
"Conrad, do you have any idea who your father is?" I asked. "Did you do DNA tests on any of the men in the sect who were active back then?"
"All the men that I could find," he said sadly. "It was really frustrating. Most of them refused and the ones who were willing were all twisted. They wanted to be my dad for all the wrong reasons. A couple of them were gay, and the rest wanted money or someone to take advantage of." Now it was Conrad's turn to tear up.
"So Conrad, down deep inside who do you think is your father?" I asked.
"I've really always thought that you were, until I saw that DNA test," he said. "It really shocked me."
"No son," I said. "What it did was fooled you. That test was a fake as they come. Neither the lawyers nor the judge knew anything about reading DNA strips. Pretty much nobody does except for the doctors and techs who work in those labs. It's pretty simple to get a starving med student to fake one test for a thousand dollars. Even if he's caught, he can say it was just a labeling mistake. If you'd ever looked at the strips all together, you'd have noticed that yours was really different. It should have at least shown a similarity with your mother's DNA. Not only was it different from mine it was different from hers as well and nobody caught it; which I counted on."
"You tricked us, Dad?" he said.
"Yup," I smirked. "You're just as much the fruit of my loins as those two. But you had it coming, Conrad. You helped to take the most precious thing in my life away from me."
"Dad," he said."I just want you to know that I saw Mom naked, but we never uh...you know. She never did it with Grandpa either. And Aunt Rose is the only one in the family who goes both ways." Conrad had a broad smile on his face. Finding out that I really was his father was far more important than him trying to get back at me."
I started yawning then and Darla stood up and told them it was time to go.
"But we have so much to talk about," said Jessica.
"You'll have plenty of time in the future now that you're back together again," said Darla. "But he needs his rest." As I watched she shooed them out of the room and they spoke for a few moments. I never found out what they talked about.
* * * * * *
"The three of you are on the edge," I said to the people in front of me. "All of you have everything in the world to be proud of and to fight for and you're pissing it all away. You, Michael, are about to lose your job and your marriage. Your gambling problem is going to cost you if you don't stop. And you hit on every woman you see when you have a very nice wife at home, who loves you. But she won't take one more betrayal. Didn't you learn anything from your father?"
"Conrad, you're a worthless sack of shit, running from one con game to another. For a long time you've been blaming it on not knowing who your father was and all of that weak bullshit. Now you know who he is. He's the same man he always was. Your pathetic cries for attention in your twenties don't work for a man nearing middle age. Ask your father for your job back. You have to realize, I'll be leaving him soon as much as I love him to try to get my own life back. I need to know that he has people he can count on or I won't be able to leave him."
"Jessica, you're the worst of the three. You didn't learn from your father or your mother. Honey, you need to learn what real love is. You're the nicest woman in the world and probably the stupidest. You need to get two things. First, get a divorce. That asshole you're married to doesn't appreciate you. He gives you excuse after excuse for not getting a job and the things he does to you. For the longest time it was because the women he cheated with had bigger boobs, so you got bigger boobs and he still cheats. You don't feel comfortable with your boobs; some women simply don't adjust well after the surgery. Have them taken out and find someone who loves you for you."
"Your Dad would have chewed off his own arm for your mother, and she's as flat as they come. Real love has nothing to do with bust size."
* * * * * *
Darla and I got into bed and she rolled over next to me.
"Say it," she said. "I always know when there's something you need to tell me."
"Darla," I lied tonight. "When I said that I only trusted you because our arrangement was only financial; it wasn't true. I know it's supposed to be that way, but you're the only person I really trust. I trust you far more than I do the kids. That fucking Michael tried to make a move on you in the kitchen, didn't he?"
"You do know your kids," she said.
"Rob, I love you," she said. "But you can't trust me either. We have about six weeks left together before our contract expires. I've done something terrible for you. I hope it will make you happy, but if it doesn't and my life doesn't work out either, I'll come back and take care of you until we both die."
"Come on Darla," I said. "In real life, sixty year old guys don't end up with hot twenty eight year olds. You're younger than my kids."
Over the next few weeks, Darla took care of me like she always did. But she started leaving me for an hour or two at a time. She told me she was meeting the next girl to start getting her ready for me. I didn't want to think about it. My cast came off. I worked really hard at getting back the strength in the leg. Darla told me that the new girl was working out too so she'd be able to keep up with me.
"What's her name?" I asked.
"She'll tell you," she said.
Darla and I had sex every night after the cast came off. It kept getting better and more intense until one night she told me we had to stop. "The new girl will probably want you to be ready for her," she said.
I remembered that it was similar when I switched to Darla from my first escort. It took months before Darla and I had sex. We had to get to know each other and things had to be right. She had to be more of a companion and not just some whore.
"What if I don't like her?" I asked one night in the middle of our sleep.
"Then I'll come back, dummy," she said. "Now go back to sleep."
"Darla," I said.
"Yes Robert," she answered.
"I don't like her," I said and dozed off to sleep.
"What does she look like?" I asked, the next night.
"She's ugly," said Darla. "But it won't matter because she has huge tits. You won't be able to keep your hands off of them."
"I don't like huge tits," I said. "I only like yours because they're attached to you."
Two days later Darla was gone. She left me a note that told me to give the new girl a chance. I'd probably have to take care of her as much as she took care of me. And I shouldn't worry about it because I could have a far longer contract with her. She'd stay as long as I wanted her too. As a last favor, Darla asked me to forgive her for what she'd done but she loved me and wanted me to be happy. She said that what she'd done had been for my own good and it hadn't been nearly as bad as what I'd done to Kathy and Conrad with the DNA test.
I could hear someone downstairs moving around. I assumed it was the new girl. I walked downstairs and into my kitchen where I smelled bacon cooking.
I saw a slim form standing in front of my stove. "Why are you in my kitchen?" she asked. I turned my head away from the bacon and looked at her. She had light blond hair like Darla's and a really nice butt. Her voice sounded older though.
I grabbed her and saw that her chest was as flat as a board. She pulled the wig off and looked at me. I was speechless.
"Robbie?" she said.
I still couldn't form words.
"We've been apart for seven God damned years and you have nothing to say to me?" she asked. She shook her head in frustration. Six months ago I almost died. Do you know what brought me back?"
I shook my head. "Darla," she said. "That woman saved us, Robbie. If it wasn't for her I'd probably be dead. I kept hearing about you with hot young women. And I just wanted to die. Why would you need me anymore if you could have them? And every time I heard about you with someone else, I just wanted to turn into the Hulk and strangle them. You belong to me, Robbie, no one else. I started to understand how you felt seeing me in Vegas and thinking about all of the men I'd been with. Seeing you with Darla was the worst, because Honey, I could see that the two of you cared for each other."
"When you got put in the home, I figured I'd have my chance. I started eating again and tried to get my health back. Then I noticed that Darla cared more for you than our kids cared for me. She came every fucking day, regardless of the weather or anything else. She also stayed all day. She was there when you awoke and she stayed until they made her leave every day and fought with them when it was time to go."
"I was ready to give up. I couldn't think of a single reason you'd ever need me with her around. She could even give you more babies to replace our kids. We met in the hallway by chance one day and we started talking. I asked her to be good to you, although we both know she would have anyway. She told me that you cried in your sleep over me and you called her my name when you had sex. She told me that she was sure you still loved me and that you needed a big shock to make you get your head out of your ass and realize that the two of us being apart didn't help anyone. WE belong together; we always did. She was the one who came up with the idea of me dying and it worked. So that day in the hospital when you thought I was dying...When you looked into my eyes and told me all of those sweet things...I knew she was right. I knew that the love you had for me had finally beaten out the hatred over what I did and you were ready to forgive me."
"Rob, I promise I'll never do it again. You were right. I was wrong. I should have quit as soon as we got together. But I haven't done it since then and if you give me a chance you'll never regret it. I'll take any terms you want to offer. But I love you and I can't be without you anymore. Robbie did you really mean all of those things you said to me? Because if you want to know the truth...? I was ready to die. My life without you in it hasn't been a life. That's why I got so thin and my hair started falling out. I just didn't give a damn anymore. Nothing mattered without you, Robbie. "
"Kathy, just shut up and kiss me," I said. "She threw her skinny arms around me and I picked her up and carried her to my bed. We did everything sexual that two healthy old people can do and some that they can't. She sucked my dick repeatedly. And I must have spent hours slapping and pounding that round ass of hers, but unlike that guy from Vegas, her ass is mine. I bit and licked those eraser-like nipples until they almost came off, and she loved every moment of it.
* * * * * *
So, yeah, I took Kathy back. I had no choice. I was never able to get her out of my mind. And all our years apart have proven was that we both loved each other too much to be without each other. She had allowed herself to waste away nearly to the point of death, and I'd become a crotchety, cynical old bastard who wasn't really living, only existing.
Yep, Kathy had cheated on me. I was sure she'd never risk doing it again. She knew that if it ever happened again under any circumstances, she'd never have another chance. I also believed that Kathy had never really thought that what she did at the Pagan rituals was cheating. There had always been some degree of hiding her religion for most of her life. When she was younger it had been embarrassment about not being part of one of the mainstream religions like most of her friends. Later on there had always been the fact that Paganism like many of the other faiths had been attacked over the centuries by the more aggressive faiths until it had nearly been stamped out. Those who practiced it often did so in secrecy. Her hiding it though not very honest wasn't malicious. Another thing in her favor was the fact that when faced with the choice of me or her religion, she'd given it up immediately. In all of the years since our divorce, she'd never gone back. She said that anything that caused her to lose the love of her life couldn't really be good for her.
After the joy of being back with Kathy wore off, I had questions. Why weren't the kids shocked about their mother being alive? How the hell did she pull off faking her death? Faking her death was illegal in most states, was Kathy going to jail?
The answers were simple. First off, if I'd been half as smart as I thought I was I'd have noticed that when we'd had the dinner after the funeral Conrad had given it away. When we'd talked about breasts, he'd said, "Mom IS flat chested," not, "Mom WAS flat chested." The others didn't notice it because they knew too. Apparently the whole thing had been planned for my benefit. As to how they pulled it off, that part was easy. Kathy actually had gone through several scares before that one and had to be taken to the hospital. The nursing home staff was used to doing it. So they assumed it was another heart incident. When we got to the hospital, Darla had rolled me over to her after she'd been assigned a room and told that there was nothing wrong with her and it was probably just a panic attack. The words she's having an attack made me think heart attack and I'd thought as they wanted me to, that Kathy was dying. I poured out my heart to her and told her how much I loved her. The doctors made me leave the room while she was treated and the game was on.
Darla told me she'd passed away. Darla also used my own stubbornness against me.
Any time I mentioned wanting to see the body, she'd say, "I knew you still loved her." And suddenly I didn't want to see her anymore. I was the only person who thought that Kathy was dead.
The funeral, closed casket at my insistence, since I didn't want to see her, had been for a poor woman from the nursing home who'd died the day before Kathy was supposed to have and had no family.
Darla orchestrated the whole thing to get me to admit that I still love Kathy. It was a rotten trick but I guess after my DNA stunt I deserved it. My family is back together and taking things a day at a time.
Conrad worked his ass off and became the managing officer of my company. That allowed me and his mother to spend more time at home. We never remarried, but we do have the same last name anyway since she never changed it.
Kathy says that as much as she'd love to be my wife again she owes me thirty years before she deserves it. We travel a lot. We have several grandchildren from Michael and his wife. Michael got rid of his gambling problem and still lost his job. Conrad gave him a job working for our company but he still doesn't trust his brother around any money. Jessica got her implants taken out and found herself another guy. She hopes this one will love her for herself. She brings him around a lot so he can watch me chase Kathy around.
Last Christmas I gave Kathy a set of books about her religion. She put them down quickly and looked at me.
"Rob, I swear I haven't," she began. I shushed her.
"I want you to, Honey," I said. She shook her head.
"No," she said. "Was this a test?"
I told her it wasn't and explained it all to her. We're in our mid-sixties now. We're both healthy but it's a time in your life when you begin to wonder about things. We formed our own Pagan sect. It's limited to the two of us. On every solstice and high-holiday, we drive my Mustang out into the woods, where Kathy says some sacred words and we fuck like crazy. Most of the time, we forgo the sacred words.
Jul 13, 2018 in romance